God I hate being fat

I hate the way my shirt clings to every protruding lump, I hate the way my ass strains to get free from the confines of my ever shrinking jeans, I hate the way I have to avert my eyes from the mirror when I get out of the shower, I hate the way my undulating waves of excess jiggle when I walk. "Well Fatty", the skinny bastard inside me says, "I guess you don’t hate yourself enough to actually do something about it?" What, are you kidding? I have been on so many diets, tried so many things, so many times for so many years, it hardly seems that I have not done something about it. And do you really think it is possible to loathe myself anymore? You inner-monologue prick!

I have seen a lot of blogs about losing weight, "Look at me!, This is my before picture and this is my after picture!" "Dear Diary, today I ate only 150 calories! Yippee!" They all suck, and they all fade into the blog abyss of the quarterly post. If all it took to lose weight was to count calories, who the hell would choose to be fat? Who in their right mind would choose a lifetime of self-hatred, trapped in a blubbery prison cell of their own making? Who would choose daily public humiliation as a walking, breathing example of weakness in our society? Certainly not the two thirds of us Americans who are more than they should be.

Well....let me stop my self-indulgent flagellation enough to introduce myself a bit. I have been blogging now for about ten years, only I never called it blogging, I called it "obsessive compulsive ramblings to myself on a word processor because I can’t afford a shrink". Of this you have already seen a sample. I read a few articles on blogs, I saw Wil Wheaton on MSNBC and decided to give it a try. It seemed a bit better than tapping away into the night on Word, isolated and alone. Throwing my words out there, public and exposed, it just seemed like the right thing to do, like accountability...or something.  To the 2, 3, or 4 of you who might actually stumble here by accident, please excuse the simple and boring look to the site, I really have no idea what I am doing yet.

Anyway...here I am world, a bloated tick of a human, consuming more of your resources than I have a right to, hating myself for doing it, hating myself because I can’t seem to stop doing it, hating myself because I hate myself so much. Ahhh the beautiful cycle of life.

god I hate being fat.

Comments

[anna]

agggggghhhhhh! i am sick of being overweight! i HATE IT! please help me, i am 10 kilos ( i am aussie, i dont do pounds)over what i want to be but i am a soon to be ballet dancer, who is recovering from an operation so i cant exercise, i am only 17, and my *bleep* of a mother just told me i am too big to be a dancer, so i havent eaten in 24 hours, mainly to get back at her, and get her feeling really guilty! so she should! anyway, just letting off some steam, sorry, i will stop now.
thanks... Anna

[Beth]

I am sitting here just sobbing and reading and then sobbing some more. I am 26 and I weigh over 300 pounds and have been this way for ten years now...I am so huge that I am disgusting to anyone who sees me. It is horrible to have to take a shower and see my huge flabby self. I hate every single part of my self. I hate for others to see me because I am so huge, I hate to see myself. I go for days without eating and it feels good, like a punishment I deserve. But then I can't do it anymore and I eat again, and I know I will never change. I am so weak that I don't deserve to be happy anyway. If I weren't so lazy I would be able to loose weight. If I had any willpower at all...but I don't. The hardest part is being so lonely, so horribly lonely. I have a few friends, but they are all normal, and they have boyfriends or husbands. I have no one and I know I never will because I am sickening to look at. I have not had a boyfriend since I was 15, and I never will again. I lost that when I became so disgusting. There isn't anyone who could possibly be attracted to me. So I just sit and cry and try to remember how I got here in the first place and wonder how much longer I am going to be able to stand feeling this way. I don't have the courage to kill myself, so I just have to feel this horrible shame and sadness, and try to keep going somehow. I am glad that there are other people who feel like this, but I am confused too because I don't think other people should. Even though you are fat, there are other things about you that are special. I know some fat people who truly are beautiful and lovely despite the fat, but that is not true for me. I am disgusting and horrible looking and I feel guilty for even existing and I feel sorry that other people have to look at me because I probably make them sick. And to Anna, the post above me, if you are a ballet dancer at all than you are not fat, you are beautiful, and you should go out and dance and celebrate the fact that you are lovely. Remind your mother that you are precious and beautiful, and then forget about your weight and go be happy while you still can.

[FB]

Beth,

You say that others should not feel this way, that there is something special in everyone...but what about you? There is something special about you too...and it took a lot of courage to write what you did. I know that things will turn around for you this year for you when you put a mind like that to the task!

[kristen e]

I am somewhat relieved that there are others out there that understand how self punishing it is to be fat. I am 27 and 260 lbs-the fattest I have ever been. I have a fiance that I think truly loves me, which I am thankful for. However, I hate being fat. I hate the way society treats those who are fat. You can be the most successful, beautiful kind person-but if your fat than that always trumps the rest. My family always finds way to remind me of my fatness. Tonight at a family party my little cousin looked at me in front of everyone and said, "your chunky.....your kinda fat." I pretended like I didn't hear him but my face blazed so red that I know everyone knows I did. Earlier in the day I was teasing my best friend, who is only about 110 lbs about all the layers she was wearing, yet was still cold. She snapped at me, in front of my brother and one of my fiance's friends, "sorry, I'm not fat so I need to keep warm!" Again, blazing red face for all to see. She insists she was just saying that because everyone makes comments about her being thin. Oh, I pity her so much....give me a break. Try being a fatty for two seconds. I actually hide from my little cousins now, for fear that they will blurt out some fat comment like today. I fear a 4 year old for christs sake! I am dreading my wedding, the happiest day of my life because I am sure that someone will make a comment about my fat body and ruin the whole day. THe thing is, people think it's funny! People think it is funny to tease someone about being fat, like it doesn't hurt them! People say, quit whining and lose the weight. I have tried so many diets and programs. I have starved myself, I have worked out until I felt my lungs would burst. Being fat has stripped me of all the self confidence I ever had. I am anxious all the time. I want to hide in my room and never leave.

[pam]

I'm 32 and right now weigh 220 lbs. 8 months ago I was 275 lbs. I used to hate myself, hate being fat. Then I woke up. Hating yourself will not fix this. If anything, self hatred makes it worse. I didn't like how I looked or how I felt, so I decided to change it. The first thing I changed was my attitude. I'm still not happy with my weight or my appearance, but I am a work in progress. I may never get to where I want to be, but that's alright. I've accepted that. One thing I couldn't help but notice about most of the bloggers here is the negativity. Yeah, it's tough to be positive when there are so many people putting you down about your weight, including yourselves. I won't tell you not to let it get to you, because it will regardless. I know, I've been there.

[FB]

I like that pam..."change your attitude first". Good job!

[CHA]

i know its been a while since ive posted anything guys, i come on everyday though to read up on what the newcomers have to say, i wish i could say that everything is perfect but it isnt, some days im extremely happy, others its like i get bulimic and everything, my 15s are coming up and im excited about it, but sometimes i feel extremely comfortable with myself but other times, in different circumstances i dont because its so hard to, im not gonna give up, i keep finding more of who i am everyday, i am an athiest, i want to be better for me, to live my life and be happy is just it, i love u guys and though its difficult, oh i know it is, dont give up

[Gail]

There is not one person on here that I cant relate to. I have always been fat, I peaked last year at 252lbs, I am only 5ft4ins. I am now 217lbs, still very fat, but I am beginning not to hate myself quite so much. I remember being 112lbs when I was 12 and feeling fat next to the other girls, I then proceeded to gain 14lbs a year. I wish there was some medical reason, but there wasnt, I just have always used food as a crutch. I have two older siblings, who have always been fit and thin. Nobody ever told me I was fat, and I never had a problem getting any man I wanted. BUT I couldnt keep them, and its not cause I was fat, its because I hated myself for being fat. I could never be truley myself in front of anyone. I am a strong person, admitting I had a problem was a sign of weakness. Last year this all changed. I truely loved a man that I had treated terribley. He loved me regardless of my size, but I kept cancelling meeting up with him again, as I hadnt lost weight. I had this dream of losing all my excess weight, and then allowing myself to fall in love with him. On the 26th May last year, he was killed in a road accident. I hadnt seen him for six months, because I was FAT! So what did I do, I ate ate and ate. AND then I thought I dont want to die, and I dont want to live being unhappy. SO i joined a slimming club, and I have lost a 1lb or 2lb every week, joined a gym six weeks ago. I generally really enjoy it, apart from today I was looking in the mirror there and I realised that I still have a long way to go. I met someone at New Year too, and more importantly I have told him about how I feel about myself. He is so supportive, and he doesnt lie to me, I am 30 and fat. He is 32 and a total gym bunny. He doesnt patronise me by saying 'your not fat your just curvy', but he wants me to be happy, if I was happy and fat then cool, but I am not, will I be happy and thin. God I hope so, as I am now happy with all over aspects of my life, and now I can get things into perspective. SO please please dont hate yourself, just do something little everyday, we control our happiness

[RP]

Gail - I was so sorry to read your story. As you say, we have to remember that we are responsible for our own happiness.

[fabianna]

well im 16 and i mean sure boys tell me im pretty but if i worked on my body i would be hot..well...im not hot. my best friend is a model as well and u no has eveything in the pakage and she is smart to..soo it sucks. and im always beeing told damn shes so hot and blah i dont care im not jealous of her. im mad at myself for not helping myself. my mother tells me all the time im fat and that she cant do anything for me its up to me or ill never find a husband and i will be lonely for the rest of my life. it really makes me upset iv got a party this saturday for my sweet 16 and i got a pretty dress and my parents were like u look pretty..but i dont FEEL it. i honestly never have...and it sucks i wish i could aleast find something about myself im good at instead of constatly being told what im not good at it is so annoying. my parents exspect to much and i no i can do it but i dont want to waste my life being perfect for them iv got enough troubles with my own self. i cant look at myself in the mirror. i dont go to the beach with friends becuase im to fat. every time my friend wisphers i think its them talking badly about me. everything. its like im pairnoid or SOMETHING. no one understands me. it just suckes becuase here i am
dreaming every day to be pretty come on yo u no the song

when i feel blue in the night...
and i want to do is hold you tight..
all i have to do is dream dream dream..

i can make you mine taste ur lips of wine...
any time night or day...
only trouble is..geewiz im dreaming my life away...

and thats what im doing...dreaming my life away. wishing i was someone else. im stuck in a body i cant stand. i hate myself. and i think im going to end up. killing myself as well. maybe then my parents can say

oh fabianna?

she was the beautiful diaster....

maybe once...ill be beautiful..and maybe just once...ill reallly...feel it.

[Mia]

Hi Rp, hang in there okay, life is a rollercoaster..for everyone, whether ur over weight, skinny etc.. nothing will always be what YOU want it to be, but ther is something u can do to make it what you want to be. It honestly really is self motivation and belief... *laughs* i shouldnt be saying that because here i am munching on cookies, crisps, and ceral miserable and suffering from binge eating disorder, i am not trying to stop myself either. However, many times i HAVE made progress, i talk to myself, i reach out to friends, or sites like this, where u can meet great people..

just 6 months ago i was anorexic. I was a model but i did get a bit skinny, i have had a history of family problems which didnt help at all.. sooner or later i found myself binging and i couldnt stop.. somtimes i eat so much that i cant take it in because it hurts and i FORCE myself to throw it up... i have been suicidal.. i have been at home, under supervision, i am 17, very smart too so it hurts knowing that i am wasting a lot of time.....

Ive learnt tho, even if i do have sit backs, thats the way life is.. thats what happens. u cant just expect to say one day " i will change completely, eat healthier etc.." its not magic.. but the magic works over time (with relapses) i promise you. many people i am sure dont want to look at the future cause they feel there is no hope, believe me i have always felt like that even now as i have just finished a binge episode.. but internally i feel i am improving i feel as there is hope.. it really takes courage, strength and hope. so hang in there RP, your life is too precious to throw away.. there is so much more to come.. u can make it happen.. ALL OF YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN, IT is never too late, i promise.

[RP]

Um, I think you're confusing me with Fabianna. :-)

[Mia]

oh i am so sorry, Fabianna.. i hope u are still going strong RP. best of luck

[vanessa]

Yep, I am also another one who is suffering from being a fattie. I have tried so many things, but sometimes I feel like the more I try and fail, the more resistence there is to weight loss in general, and people dont understand this. They just think you dont try, but sometimes from trying and failing in the past screws with your system. I hate that my gut sticks out, how my ass is dying to break free from my pants, and my zipper does not believe in staying up....but more than anything, I hate when people who used to see you a certain way and now treat you like you got leprosy. Or smart-ass fit people (generally men.. of low self esteem) who try to kid with you about your size.

[Jenny]

PLEASE READ THIS!! SERIOULSY, I THINK/HOPE IT WILL HELP!

Hey Everyone, I'm Jenny. I posted on here a while ago on August fourth. Since then I have gained 10 more pounds, bringing my grand total to 160, and at 5'3" thats pretty big. I was scared to go on the scale...but I was really ready to diet so I braced myself and stepped on. Several weeks ago I started dieting. Excercising...but reallllly not taking it seriously. Also, I kiind of cheated on my diet and when I weighed myself I found that I hadn't lost any weight. I was about to give up again when I went onto this website and found out that i was about 4 pounds away from becoming officially obese. I was still in the 'overweight' category. Anyway, that was a real wake up call for me and I decided to get serious.

In the past five days (today is my fifth) I have lost 8 and 1/2 lbs. There really are no special pills or drinks that will come in and just make the weight melt off, and I realize this now. I have been waiting for so long for something like that to happen and I have accepted, as should all of you, that it doesn't exist. There is no holy grail of weight loss.

However, I thought I would share with you what I am doing, and I hope it can work for you all. I really do understand how hard dieting is TRUST ME. But after you get into it...it becomes fun...and sort of like a competition with yourself.

Before I started dieting I decided that I really needed to learn more about my body chemistry so that I could understand what I should be eating and why. OK so here it goes...

First of all I learned that the body has something called a BMR and this is the amount of calories you would burn if you literally lied in bed all day and did nothing. You can calculate this by going to this website:
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

However, the body isn't a simple math equation. The reason that we are fat is because we were born with slower metabolisms. There is hope! There are things that we can do to increase our metabolisms.
1. Obvioulsy excercising: Not only does excercising burn calories, but it also increases your metabolism for three hours after you have excercised. This means that after you excercise, you are burning more calories doing whatever you are doing, than you would have had you not excercised. However, I am referring to aerobic excercise. An important form of excercise that often goes overlooked is weight training. I have posted below why it is so important to weight train.
Build Muscle
Increase the amount of muscle in your body. For every extra pound of muscle you put on, your body uses around 50 extra calories a day. In a recent study, researchers found that regular weight training boosts basal metabolic rate by about 15%. This is because muscle is ‘metabolically active’ and burns more calories than other body tissue even when you’re not moving.
Training with weights just 3 times a week for around 20 minutes is enough to build muscle. Not only will you be burning more calories, you’ll look better – whatever your weight.

2. Certain foods increase your metabolism. Below is a list of foods that do and explanations as to why:

METABOLISM BOOSTER PACK #1: MILK, WHOLE-GRAIN CEREAL, AND OATMEAL
Secret Ingredients: Calcium, complex carbohydrates, and fiber
How they work: Complex carbohydrates and fiber pump up metabolism by keeping insulin levels low after you eat. That's good, because spikes in the production of insulin send a signal to the body that it's time to start storing fat. And in order to stockpile fat, your body has to slow down your metabolism, causing you to burn fewer calories, says Margaret McNurlan, Ph.D., a professor of nutrition and medicine at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. Since oatmeal breaks down slowly in the stomach, it causes less of a spike in insulin levels than foods like bagels, she says.
Besides helping to keep insulin production down, eating breakfast can also help stoke your daily calorie burn. When the U.S. Navy studied the metabolisms and eating habits of a group of its personnel, it found that eating breakfast helped raise the men's metabolisms by as much as 10 percent. "By skipping meals, you slow down your metabolism and prime your body to store fat," says McNurlan.
The calcium in milk is a metabolic trigger as well. A University of Tennessee study found that dieters who consumed between 1,200 and 1,300 milligrams (mg) of calcium a day lost nearly twice as much weight as dieters getting less calcium.

METABOLISM BOOSTER PACK #2: JALAPENO, HABANERO, AND CAYENNE PEPPERS
Secret Ingredient: Capsaicin—the chemical in peppers that gives them their bite
How it works: By speeding up your heart rate.
A study from the late '80s found that eating a single spicy meal can boost your metabolism by up to 25 percent, with the spike in calorie burning lasting for up to 3 hours after you finish eating. More recently, a study from Laval University in Quebec found that men who consumed coffee plus red pepper-packed snacks and meals were able to burn nearly 1,000 more calories a day than a control group.
Small snacks can also help keep your body from running out of fuel-preventing those 3 p.m. office blahs. "When you restrict the number of calories your body has for fuel, your metabolic rate can drop temporarily," says Susan Roberts, Ph.D., chief of the energy-metabolism laboratory at Tufts University in Boston. That makes it easier to pack on the pounds and harder to burn them off again.

METABOLISM BOOSTER PACK #3: GREEN TEA AND COFFEE
Secret Ingredients: Caffeine and a chemical in the tea called EGCG
How they work: Caffeine helps speed up your heart rate. The faster your heart beats, the more calories you burn. EGCG works in a similar way, but instead of revving up your heart, it causes your brain and nervous system to run more quickly-again helping you burn more calories.
In studies, researchers found that a combination of caffeine and a 90-mg dose of EGCG taken three times a day can help you burn an extra 80 calories a day. And that's just when your body's at rest. A study conducted by the Canadian government found that soldiers who consumed caffeine in the 12 hours prior to a physical-fitness test not only were able to work out longer before becoming exhausted, but also consumed more oxygen while working out. The body's oxygen requirements are directly related to the speed of-guess what-your metabolism, so the more oxygen you use, the more calories you burn during your workout.

METABOLISM BOOSTER PACK #4: LEAN BEEF, PORK, CHICKEN, AND TURKEY
Secret Ingredient: Protein
How it works: It takes more energy for your body to digest the protein in meat than it does for it to digest carbohydrates or fat, according to Doug Kalman, R.D., director of nutrition at Miami Research Associates, a nationally recognized pharmaceutical-research facility. "That means that the more protein you eat, the harder your body has to work to digest it, and the more calories you'll burn in the process," he says.
When researchers at Arizona State University compared the benefits of a high-protein diet with those of a high-carbohydrate diet, they found that people who ate a high-protein diet burned more than twice as many calories in the hours following their meal as those eating carbs. Even better, researchers in Denmark found that men who substituted protein for 20 percent of the carbs in their diets were able to boost their metabolisms, increasing the number of calories they burned each day by up to 5 percent.

METABOLISM BOOSTER PACK #5: SALMON, TUNA, AND SARDINES
Secret Ingredient: Omega-3 fatty acids
How they work: By altering levels of a hormone called leptin in your body. Several recent studies suggest that leptin directly influences your metabolism, determining whether you burn calories or store them as fat.
Researchers at the University of Wisconsin found that mice with low leptin levels have faster metabolisms and are able to burn fat more quickly than animals with higher leptin levels. The best way to lower your leptin? Eat fish.
Mayo Clinic researchers studying the diets of two African tribes-one of which frequently ate fish and one of which didn't-found that fish eaters had leptin levels nearly five times lower than the levels found in tribes that primarily ate vegetables.
The good news, if you don't like fish: Fish-oil supplements may work just as well as the stuff with scales. French researchers found that men who replaced 6 grams of fat in their diets with 6 grams of fish oil were able to boost their metabolisms.

OKAY so now that I have tried my best to share the knowledge I have gained with you...I will tell you exactly what I am doing...and hopefully that will help.

Every day I wake up ,drink a double size Rock Star energy drink (for the caffeine), and either run around the hills in my neighborhood, or work out on a machine for 30 minutes. Either before or after this i do a bit of weight training. Then I eat...usually chicken breast that I buy from the pre-cooked section at Ralphs. Later i'll have a salad with chicken on it with a vinegarette based dressing. and just small little snacks throughout the day (all healthy though). Also, I try to eat the chili peppers I bought (I have to chopthem up and swallow them though because I can't handle the spiciness haha) Anyway, yeah...so far it's going very well...as I said, 8 and 1/2 pounds in 5 days. Pretty exciting. Also, I found that I used to have an attitude where if i lost wait, I would be like...oh great! Okay so now i'll just cheat and eat something bad because I lost weight! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! you gain it right back and then get deppressed and want to eat more and its not a good cycle. When you see progress, get excited to lose more, and don't let yourself cheat. Right now, I have been able to manage the cravings pretty well...but as i get further into this...I'm going ot have one day a week where I can eat one meal of what I want...and compensate for it by eating SUUUUPER healthy the rest of the day. I mean, guys, the hardest part is getting started, it really is. But once you get into it...it becomes fun and exciting! Oh and excercise in the mornings because then your body is forced to use stored energy (fat) as fuel as opposed to what you have consumed during the day.
Right now, I feel like my body is keeping back from doing all the things that I want to do, and I wont let it anymore. I want to go to the beach, I want to be intimate with men and not feel self concious, basically ...I want to be HOT! I think we all deserve to be...so lets just shut the light switch off and do it!! I've decided I want to be thin. It's going to be very hard...but I am going to do it. I no longer expect some miracle product to come and save me...i'm ready to put in the work. If anyone wants to lose weight with me, I think we can all do it together. Let me know and we can email or something!

Good Luck to all of you! I wish you nothing but the best!

[Jenny]

Oh and I'll keep you posted on how it's going!

[Yo-Yo]

Well put Jenny. If you strave yourself you will wreck your metabolism. I use to strave myself and take pills. So i lived in the skinny world for a time and it is nerotic, they obsess about themselves and the way they look CONSTANTLY and have more hang ups than anything i've read on this blog.i'm currently 20kilo's overweight and the one thing i must get rid of along with the 20kilo's is the shame. i find the shame the worse than the weight. Years of Yo-Yo dieting between having three kids i'm ready to settle my wieght issues once and for all. i'm 40yrs old and i'm not going to spend the next 40 looking down at the number on a set of scales and walking away depressed. i tired of being withdrawn and depressed with myself and i seem to always be angry at my family and want them to leave me alone.(does anyone understand that?) i hate being the fat soccer mum on the edge of oval. all because of my wieght it's crazy i don't keep things i don't want so why should my excess kilos be any different.so i'm listen jenny keep talking.

[kelski]

the image of 'perfection' has been warped by today's society. A skinny, blonde, double-D woman is supposedly what were all supposed to look like. im sick of avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. i have to wake up extra early to do my hair and makeup alone so i dont look too bad, but on top of that watching how much i eat and WHAT i put into my mouth. its PATHETIC. i feel so horrible about myself. i HATE myself. im sick of being fat. i weigh 126 pounds and im only a 13 year old girl. im sick of trying on my jeans and they fit fine one day, but then a week later i struggle to get them onto my ever-growing tub of lard ass. im sick of shirts that are cute...until i put them on. they cling to every part of me i DONT want people to see. NOBODY should have to feel like this..but unfortunately most teens/women do. but the good thing is, were all in this TOGETHER. and if we remember that and stay strong, maybe we can make it. but now i have a couple of questions for all of you to try and answer:
[*]why do we strive for an image of perfection most of us know we cant reach?
[*]why do we think that because of how we look or how much we weigh, effects our personality?
[*]why do we think that if we weigh "too much" it makes us a horrible person?

[candee]

i am very fat too i hate it i am depressed every second of the day i am scared of going out and feel like every one is looking at me it has taken over my life i need a job really bad but cant go on interviews because i feel so nasty ugly and useless i sometimes feel i dont get jobs because of my weight i feel like i look like a giant pig over the years i went on many vacations with my husband i hate going but u would never know i was there i never take pics my husband gets pissed i dont go to any family parties or to baby showers or any where i am so embaressed i have a 11 year old son and will have no pictures of my self to show him because i dont have any not even when i was a teenager i have never had sex with my husband where i was naked i allways wear a shirt i think all night about my weight it never leaves my mind i hate the summer and now it almost here i really cant handle it any more

[Chrisst]

I totally understand how you feel. I am feeling so depressed because whatever I do, I can't stick to it. I joined Weight Watchers last month, lost 7 pounds and then started eating like an animal and gained it all back and then some. I feek like I'm going to explode. I look horrible, I am 40 years old and have now developed love handles and a fat stomach. I feel like everyone is looking at me and making fun of me. I also now have dimples and elephant thighs. How Gross. I have gaduated into size 14 at 5'9. I just feel like a loser. Am I that much of a weak minded person that I can never stick to a diet? I need help. I really hate myself.

[mybfluvsmtb]

if you weren't fat - you would just hate yourself for other, deeper, more complicated and messed up reasons.

which would probably make you feel worse about yourself.

exercising and eating right is a good way to lead a healthy lifestyle. but rather than focusing on how to get skinny - try to stay fit and learn to love yourself the way you are.

sounds corny - but it's a lot harder than dieting and exercising.

[CHA]

hey everybody its been a minute since i came on here, i was reading my first post, almost over a year ago on my 14th birthday i was at 5'5 and 180, according to the BMI calculator i was overweight, today currently, may 5th, 23 days before my 15th birthday i'm very happy to say i have lost 28 pounds, i am at 152 and i'm 5'6, i'm enjoying my life so much and i'm truly loving every minute of it, i still have more weight to lose, i'm a very athletic person and i'm very active and i will continue to work hard, i can now jog a whole mile and more without stopping, that makes me very proud of myself, i have gone through a lot in my life, you can read all the troubles i have had in my other posts(drugs, cutting, etc.), but i'm so much stronger and confident now that i feel good and i love my life, i have so much clothes in my closet that are HUMONGOUS on me lol i can't wear them, i bought new clothes, i went from a size 13 to an 11, and an X-Large to just a large, don't give up on your life because its beautiful and our purpose on earth is far from worthless, love ya'll, from the heart...

[maranda]

WELL MY NAME IS MARANDA I AM 28 YEARS OLD 29 IN JULY I HAVE BEEN OVERWEIGHT MY ENTIRE LIFE I WASNT BUT 20 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT AS A TEEN and i felt i was huge my mother called me a lazy cow and all kinds of things told me she wished she had an abortion cause she wanted a little girl a small daughter i got pregnant at 17 had two babies before 19 went from 155 at 5.5 all the way up to 230 because i had two babies 10 months apart well i lost weight and i got down to a size 12 and i was still not happy and i should have been cause i have large breasts and i cant be tiny i would look silly then when i was 24 i got pregnant again and i only gained 12 pounds i was so careful well since then i have had such a sedetary lifestyle i am up to 278 and sadly enough i own a treadmilll you want to hear lazyness i live in an apartment and instead of walking up about five stairs opening a door and taking out the trash i will tie it up and sit it on the treadmill the trash goes out when the treadmill is full i dont really know what is going on within me but i am not even me anymore and i would like to blame it on the weight but the fact is the weight is a side effect of my change inside myself and i have been in some type of therapy since i was 8 so well that isnt helping i know it is just cause this is not how i saw my life and thats what it is i can sing i can dance i always saw myself famous now i know alot of you prolly think well we all do when we are young but i could have been now the only spotlight i get is in little bars where people come up to me and give me so many compliments after i sing karaoke on more than one occasion i have had men and women come up to me and say you know if you lost some weight you could be famous my uncle got into a fight with one such man one night i dont know if they think it is ok to why they think it is ok to say that well i guess my point is i wonder if there is anyone out there who can tell me how to be ok with never getting my dream i have three kids now and i am getting old and i cry everynight that i watch american idol for my dead dreams i will never get this weight off until i figure out how to go on with never getting my dream i think if alot of the people on this page would just look a little deeper they would realize their weight is to a side effect of something else

[bigfatfatty]

I too found this site at random. good old google. wow. i have been fat all my life. not like a little over weight were talking stolky legs, my thighs rub together, saggy gut, back fat that looks like it should be in bra, a "pop" out ass, crepe arms, and cellulite, god do i have cellulite.

Im 5'11, just about 20 years old and im not sure how much i weigh...320 maybe? Get this all my life i was told i have ben fat, fat, fat. So when i went from a size 22 to a size 25 (yikes!) in a month it was no sweat of my back. Seriously i just remember eating and then it was december. then came the string of deits and excersie programs. By the time i was 17 i coulda put jenny craig out of bussiness with my knowleagde of food and excersie. But, i never used it.

I went into grade 12 weighing 400 pounds. I told myself i was size 25, when i was size 27 cramming into size 25 jeans. Then i started taking walks with a friend and hey hey hey, lost 10 pound by my grad.
Then i got a bone infection and long story short i was on bed rest fro a month lost like another 10 pounds and low and behold realized i was not a beast.

Sorry this is so long but i have to tell someone...so hang in there..

Anyway by september last year i started walking and i countiued to do so for 3 months, my eating was not perfect but my size 25 jeans (yes this time i was size 25) began to sag. The n in feburay i become motavated and started working out for real.

Im now a size 24. almost 23. soon to be 22. the point is, in a month i went up 4 waist sizes and its tooken me over 4 years to get back to 22.

but, oh god. someone is falling in love with me, and it breaks my heart because im his grad escort and by god what are people goign to think. I tell you whats going to happen. People are going to think "is THAT" the best he could do? im tired of being fat. I wish , well wishing won't change anything....it makes me paniky. how could someone like me, when i don't like me...

[ali]

i came home from the store and cried . i just couldnt take it anymore. i didnt know that i was holding that emotion in. i tried on about 20 different shirts on at the store, none of them looked even remotely decent. my love handles and big belly protruding. i was just disgusted with myself. my jeans just squeezing my thighs. ugh. i cant even stand the sight of myself in the mirror. i was suppose to go out with my fiance tonight, there is no way. i dispise my double chin. i'm just so unhappy with my body. it must feel so wonderful to fit into a size 6. i would just love to be a size 6. god the last time i wore a single digit size was 5 years ago. i told my fianane maybe if i was pregnant i would feel better, i would at least have an excuse for my size. right now there is nothing that i wouldnt do to lose weight and feel beautiful.

[Sabrina]

I live in an Asian country where most of the women are a size 6-10. I'm a size 18, i'm 1.7 metres tall and 110kg now. I lost 10 kg last yr and i put it all back on. I jsut put myself on the weighin machine and i started to cry. Everyone who sees me tells me i'm gorgeous,although they'll always say "you'll look like a goddess if you lose some weight."

People do not understand the complexities of being a fat girl in the society. We have been brainwashed by the media that skinny is in and that fat is obnoxious.

Sometimes i feel do depressed that i refuse to leave my house, because seeing those skinny girls parading their skinny wares make me want to cry. There have been a gazillion people telling me they'll trade anything to be as beautiful as me, but i can't see it.

The way i see it, its not merely a weight problem. It has developed into a major psychological issue. My mind is stuck on being me, refusing to conform to society. I refuse to be skinny because then, all the men will flock to me, no doubt, but it'll be full of superficiality. They will want to date me because i'm hot and sexy and slim, and that very thought disgusts me. I think i need to change my mentality. That losing the weight is for me, not for any man out there.

I have a boyfriend, a v sweet man who is have my size and shorter than me. He loves me, no doubt, but i'm sure he'll be very happy if i lost some weight. On days when i feel like crap, i'll tell him to find some other skinny girl coz it'd b so much better for him.

Its come to a point where i don think i'll get married coz the thought of presenting my naked self to any men grosses the hell out of me. All my life i've demanded acceptance and equality, but its not fair to subject any man to marry a fat woman and live with it for the rest of his life. True, there are such noble men, but then we would be perpetually insecure, fearing that he would be seduced by some skinny girl out there.

Its a neverending cycle, a catastrophe. Fat is a choice if you ask me, its not like being short where u cannot change it. Its no impossible to lose weight. I have not found that jolt that will send me down that road to losing weight.

People keep telling me i can't, and i won't. I have zero willpower, i have to admit. Its genetic rather than anything else. But i'm sick of being fat and ugly (even tho people beg to differ all the time).

Trust me, in the country i live, we hardly have any shops that cater to plus sized women. Its not like the states where it is in abundance. That adds up to the frustration. A size 0 or 2 is extremely common here, and when you're a size 18, you feel out of place, like you don't belong, no matter how truly beautiful you may be, first impressions count, and physical attractiveness will always be an important part in a relationship.

So ladies, lets stop mellowing in our self pity. Lets stop crying and lookin into the mirror and sobbing. Lets change the things that we cannot accept.

And i pray God will give us all guidance, because you are all amazing individuals i am sure, and we all deserve to be truly happy.

Love,
Sabrina.

[Lauren]

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies...you all sound so full of anxiety. Just remember to keep telling yourself everyday, that it WILL BE OK. Take a breath before you decide to eat. Stay out of your house as much as you can so it is easier for you to avoid the kitchen and be unaware of beinge eating. Constantly be on the move. Stand more than you sit. You'll soon realize your depression will start to fade as well as the lbs. You will BE OK:)

[Cindy]

Hi, I'm not sure what to say, but here it is one thirty in the morning and I just ate ice cream, chips and cereal! There is not a day goes by that I don't think about my weight, I am 70 lbs overweight and have been for about ten years. I am so depressed and feel like things are hopeless.......

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Stefanne]

That is crap! You are not trying hard enough, and you do choose to be fat, by giving yourself excuse after excuse as to why you are fat.

People who say they have "tried" every diet, have not tried hard enough. And just saying the word diet is a failure in itself, that makes the changes that you make seem short term and not for life, which is ultimately what it will take to lose the weight and keep it off forever. Find something that is for you, and STICK TO IT FOR 6 months, follow it to the best of your ability and find some friends/family members to support you.

This is from fat person to fat person, I have lost 22 lbs so far, and before that I would have sworn I had tried "everything", the problem was, it I wasn't really trying full heartedly.

Don't give yourself excuses! Own up to your weight and your dependence on food.

[CHA]

hey everybody, since the last time I posted on may 5th, I've lost 8 more pounds, I'm at 144 =) yay me! I've droped 4 pant sizes, I'm a 7 now and its AWESOME!! My goal is to eventually get into the 130's =)

[shelly]

I hate the way that I look, I don't want my husband to look at me because I feel like he is discusted with what he sees.He claims that he is not but, I don't see how he could not be.I am miserably depressed and I really hate living, I wish I could just sleep my life away but I have children. I am worried sick that my husband will find someone else. I have a really pretty face, if I could just loose 60lbs I would probably be a knock out...But Hell no. I don't love myself enough to do it. My husband says he loves me just the way that I am: However, His eyes just about pop out of his head when ever he sees a thin girl. I don't think he is trying to be disrespectful. But it is obvious to me that he is attracted to her. How can he possibly be attracted to me. And when the Girls gone wild commercials come on I just want to hide somewhere and die.

[Leah]

Hey. I can sympathize with all of you soooo much. I am 35 yrs old, 5'1" & now (as of today) weigh 210 lbs. This is how much I weighed 5 yrs ago when I had my child. I have not always been overweight though. I was small growing up & began to "blow" up after high school. I reached about 155 lbs & remained @that weight for about 3 yrs. I finally got sick of it & began to exercise & eat healthy. I got down to 125 lbs & felt awesome!! So awesome, that I went back to school & got a Bachelors in Exercise. I never used my degree (not a good area for this type of degree) & ended up getting an office job. I kept the weight off for about 7 yrs, then got pregnant. Had some problems & had to quit exercising. Needless to say, the weight crept back on. The sad thing is I did get down to about 170, but got depressed with my job & began eating again. It's like an emotional roller coaster. I will lose a little, then something would happen & here I go again. What makes me feel really pathetic now (at 210 freakin lbs!!) is I just got hired at a place I have only dreamed of working, my child is precious, & my husband & I are really getting along well these days (minus my not wanting to be seen naked). I have tried & tried to figure out why I could, at one point in my life, reach a point where I actually stepped up & did something about my weight, & now I can't. Since I have gotten so big, I have always had an excuse, stress from my marriage, stress from my job, stress of having a toddler, you name it & I have used it as an excuse. But now, I seem to have everything going right for a change, & still can't get a grip!!! I even have a degree in Exercise & could tell someone else what to do, but can't even do it myself!!! I get so embarresed when someone asks what my degree is in. But, like I read earlier, it is my choice & no one can change me, but me. It feels good to know I am not the only one who hates themselves for being big. I also seem to dwell on my past when I was small. I pull out my wedding video, look at pictures from when I felt "hot", & it is almost like sheer torture. I even typed up an agreement with myself & signed it, hoping it would give me some sort of goal to shoot for, & I couldn't even stick to that!! I am tired of this, tired of not being able to do things with my family & friends & getting out of breath when I simply bend down to pick something up!!! I refuse to stay this way & die at a young age. What if my daughter gets on this roller coaster too!!! I refuse to let it happen & am ready to stop this cycle now. It feels good to get this all out, I apologize for rambling. Starting tomorrow, I am going to get up, exercise & get to living my life again!!! I am ready to be proud of myself again. I will keep you posted, thanks for listening.

[Rose]

There's something wrong with us that goes deeper than the subcutaneous fat. I've been convinced of my own obesity since I was fourteen years old 5.7, and weighed 130 pounds. I WAS'NT fat, but I cried at night and wanted to die because I was convinced that I was. I've since gained weight despite dieting and fasting and starving and purging, and the only reason my depression isn't clinical is because I'm too ashamed to find someone to talk to about it.

I'm filled with loathing at the flab on my body and nearly cried with sympathy when I read thoughts on this board that have plagued my mind since eighth grade. But what's really wrong? I'm NOT morbidly obese, but I still hate myself as if my weight was reason enough to earn myself loathing. I don't hate fat people when I see them around me, so why do I hate myself? There has to be something deeper. In Africa a "fat" woman is beautiful, appreciated for her voluptuous curves and figure. What is it that makes us hate ourselves for not being built like eight-year-old boys?

I found this site when I typed in "ways to not hate myself for being fat," and every word of the blog could have fallen from my own lips, were I as eloquent as the writer. Aren't we asking the wrong question? I'm tired of asking "how can I lose weight." If it's true that the whole world is looking down on me for being overweight, than shouldn't I be the one to whom I can turn to for comfort? Why can't I be the one person in the world who I know will always love me for the way I am, for the way God made me?

But I can't make myself even try to answer that question. I just feel my pooching belly against my flabby thigh and want to sleep so that I won't have to be awake and aware of how much I hate myself for being fat.

[FB]

Rose, your words WERE eloquent...and heart felt...thanks.

Fatty girl am I. Day in and day out I think, "Maybe this will be the day I decide to follow through with a diet plan." Heck, that is enough to make me EAT!!! I am so tired of being fat. I look exactly like Humpty Dumpty. Fatty belly! Short and fat,that's me. Self hate rings true.

Im normal. But i kinda have fat on my tummy.

[Jenny]

Well ladies...and gentleman...
I am happy to report that i have lost a total of 18 pounds thus far...I know it doesn't seem like a lot since april...but I have been doing it in a healthy way and actually let up for about two months...and YAY I kept off the excess weight while I wasn't really 'dieting'. I'm back on my more intense program now, and I will keep you posted! Anyone else dieting?

[CHA]

hey everybody =] well since I last posted on july 30th, I've dropped 9 more pounds so I did reach my goal, I'm at 135 =] I've dropped 2 more pant sizes, Its incredible to me that I'm a size 5 when I used to dream about that. I'm a vegetarian and a complete health nut now lol. But my point is it is possible everybody, its hard but its so worth it. My next goal is 125, wish me luck =]

[Mari]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA

Please watch this. Get healthy, not
superthin, it lasts longer!

[Benn]

Hey everyone!
Never writen on these things before so sorry if im being really anal or anything!
Im 24 today (15th Sept 83) from England. Im currently 240lbs i've been this weight since i can remember and like alot of us "cuddly" (fucking hate that phrase)people I hate myself for being this size! I hate every fucking square inch of my self, i avoid relationships and even friendships because im constantly so low bout everything related to me! I know thats really self centred "its always about me" haha!People always say "your not even fat" well try tlling the manufacturers of my huge jeans and shirts n t's etc! I'll die a fucking virgin because the thought of me being a naked in front of anyone makes me feel sick! I don't know if any of you can relate no doubt you can! I swim 3 times a week and make myself actually throw up with it but nothing works! I've tried not eating but someone always notices and puts a stop to it!! Then i've tried throwing up after meals and snacks but that just makes me more depressed about things than I already am! Sorry if im venting everything here but as i said i've never had anywhere to turn to say an of this and all my friends are "normal" or slim so can't turn to them for support! a friend of mine is having surgery to help lose weight but I can't do that to myself!
It's my god dam birthday today and i've spent it on my own with a litre of vodka and instead of having a "fun" night with people that don't actually exist (to put my friends at ease)i've just sat here dwelling on my fatness and i'll probably cry myself to sleep as usual! Fantastic bday eh?!?
I'd love to end it all and i've tried to before but then i'd just be giving into m sad self indulgence or self satisfaction of not having to deal with it anymore! and fuck that!I hav a right to be here to! Sorry for being a right miserable get but after a litre of vodka what can i do but spill everything im thinking to random unknown people! All i say before i go is that i hope everyone has a better bday than i have and that i hope you all have someone you can talk to bout this sort of thing and if you don't then talk to me at benn l smith @ hot mail . com
bye for now fellow fat fighters haha?!?

[-_-]

eh.. i'm 15 and weigh 307 pounds.

[Sara]

it sucks being fat, yes, cause deep inside, u know that you are not suppose to be this way, yet you are. i am only 5'3 and i currently weigh 185 lbs. reason is, i gave birth to 2 kids. i used to weigh 120 lbs b4 i got married, and once i did which was 3 years ago, i jumped to 168 lbs, and 168 lbs i got pregnant with my first son who was born 10 lbs 4 oz, my weight with him jumped to 204 lbs. 6 months later when i managed to go down to 180 lbs i found out that i was pregnant with my second child which she was born 8 lbs, with her i jumped to 215 lbs. with both my kids i had a c-section.
now.. I LOOK FAT AND HORRIBLE, UNPROPORTIONATE. my stomach is big and doughy, my thighs are huge, my breasts, i wear size E, i have kanckles, how worse can it get? well i tell you.. my self esteem has dropped to the floor, i hate being around people, i dont like to get out of the house cause i always feel like people are starring at this short fat soccerball lookin human being. i am always angry and blame my husband for everything. sometimes i feel like i need a shrink!!
i really do need help loosing weight!!! its killin me, i cant walk, my knees hurt from the weight!!! HELP!

[Erka]

I am 31, weight 230 and hate being fat. I, like others on this blog, just typed in "I Hate Being Fat" and this blog showed up. I am really depressed about my weight and it has impacted my school, marraige, work. I am not motivated to do anything and have taken to crying and sleeping a lot. I need help with losing weight. I live in Southern California, where being fat is not cool. If someone can help me I woudl really apprecaite it. I am so embarrassed about this condition that I won't even talk to my pastor about my feelings.

[sick of not looking like someone i would want to be with.]

ok fat is wrong. i hate it. i hate me. IM NOT ONE OF THOSE PPL WHO JUST BITCH all the time.... i love life, love friends and all. but almost everyday ill wake up happy and be having a good day untill i see myself reflected in a mirror. and its not like im obese.. im 208 pounds (alot i know) but im 6 ft 6. healthy BMI but i still have those rolls of faat where i dont want them, the shirt clinging to the boobs me as a male shouldnt have. ahhh depressing. i am sick of not looking like someone i would want to be with.

[fatty]

i know what you all mean i am 5,3 and 278pounds and i cry ever day about it i have try ever thing trying to lose weight but nothing works

[Aurelia]

Well I am 26 years old, 5,4" and I weigh 145 lbs, my heaviest was 155 lbs, my lowest 106 lbs in high school. I have realised that throughout my college years, I put on a little weight each year. I now have a goal of losing 20 lbs, in order to be 125 which I think is great for my height and general physique. I stumbled upon this site in order to get motivation with sticking to my diet and exercise routine ( I have started spinning 3 times a week and I have reduced my junk food and carb in take)I realise now that the people who post on this site weigh a little more than me and all I have to say is fight the good fight people! Because you deserve it, you deserve to be the best version of yourself, so get off that couch, start an exercise program, cut the junk and do it!

[E]

Hello this is E or should I say BIG E. I just typed in I hate being fat and this site popped up. I have been fat all my life and I am just discusted by it. I hate being fat so much I am depressed about it. I mean its like I can't do nothing. I don't go to the mall, park, traveling that much, shopping or just window shopping. My whole life is flab. Flab in the morning in the afternoon at night. This is really getting in my way. I feel just awful cause my clothes don't fit right. I am constantly pulling at them so the rolls want absorb them. I am severely depressed. I went to a shrink office and had a free assesment and they told me you need help bad. They told me to come back quick. Fat is taking over my life. I read where the young lady said you wear the same thing over basically whatever fits. I am a witness. I am just tired of crying bout all this weight on me.

Please help!!!!!

[priscilla]

i wasn't all too bad when i was little but my eating catched up to me later. everytime i look in the mirror i feel diguisted and when i watch t.v i see all those skinney actors its makes me feel evern worse. sometimes i've cried over it. it makes my confidence go down and i feel like the biggest person in the world.

[crazygirl]

omg same i hate the way i look. i think my boyfriend just left me because of this.. sigh my life sucks.... actualyy i just need to lose about 20 pounds.. it doesnt sound hard.. but losing this much is the hardest.. SIgh why does everyone judge me?

[fattygirl]

i hate it when people call me fat im 15 im 5'5" and i weigh 122. i hate my weight. everyone else in my grade thats close to me height weighs so much less than me. i hate that im fatter than my boyfriend. i hate that he tells me im not fat when i know hes lying. i know he wishes i looked like a model. i try to lose weight but i cant. any suggestions or tips?

[feelinghopeless]

PLEASE HELP ME. i am 252lbs and don't know what to do anymone. i have lost weight before and that's why i can't understand why if so hard this time around. i have gained 80lbs in the last year due to heartbreak or just not caring about life. i need help, along with a buddy to keep me motivate. if there's anyone reading this and with like to be a motivational buddy in this weight loss journal that i vow to start for the last time, please attemp to respond and maybe we can do this together. i found out that the last time i lost weight i had a support system. come on, we can do this. we can beat this. i am tired of feeling this way. i have lived life before and want to do it again. i can't take it anymore. i just can't. PLEASE HELP ME

[J.C. Brown]

Don't give up I would just keep trying but with love, yourself even on a bad day.

I am fat yup..and I have a big butt..but hey I will keep working out and I will cry sometimes and wish I could be thin but I will not just give in or give up. Sorry...fight and win a little each day!

[Not wanting to give up...]

wow, I didnt know so many people felt the same way I did.......I am 36, i am 187 pounds...I hate being like this but I too start a new diet everyday but by lunch I am eating....I try to exercise but nothing works..I have so many exercising magazines, DVD, diet pills you name it I have it....what does work who knows.....I am tired of feeling like this...I dont want to feel like this anymore....we can do it........life is so short...and I want to be happy....I want to smile....and when i am old I want to look back and tell myself I had a good life and made the best of it...........so even though we feel down, lets not give up...we can make a little change.. if we fail, lets try again.....

[Sarah]

I actually feel a little bit happier knowing im not the only one, I HATE being fat so much! I'm not suicidal but sometimes I dont feel in control anymore. I get so low sometimes that I dont want to live being fat. I have no will power what so ever and im sad most of the time. I have to fake my happiness arund others sometimes and i hate it. But look at me now complaining about being fat but sat at the computer not doing anything about it... i make myself sick!

[stlnascargal20]

Wow! I thought I was the only one who had these kinds of feelings about being fat. I hate being fat. I am 37, 5'9", and weigh 250lbs. I hate my body. There are times when I wish I could just rip the fat away from my body! But you know what I hate the most, all of my size 12 friends who complain that they want to lose weight. WTF! I am a size 22 and I would KILL to be a size 12! That just pisses me off to no end! I hate being out somewhere thinking that everyone is looking at me, and if a group of people happen to be sharing a laugh, I always assume that they are laughing at me! About a year and a half ago I had lost some weight and was actually a size 18, and it felt great! I actually felt kinda sexy and WANTED to have sex with my boyfriend! Now that I have gained the weight back, I don't even want him looking at me naked. He tells me that I am sexy and beautiful, but I just tell him that he has a sick sense of humor. I have no energy! All I want to do is sit and watch tv. I come home from work and just want to eat my dinner and go straight to bed. I can't stand it when I take off my socks and they leave marks on my ankles where they were too snug on my fat legs. I hate that when I take a bath, my fat ass acts like a damn blocking the water from the back of the tub from getting to the front of the tub. I hate that I cry at Jenny Craig commercials. I hate that other fat people disgust me. I feel as if I am just watching my life go by and not living it. I hate being fat.

[macamess]

you guys think you are fat... i am 5'7 and 270 lbs... i never ever thought i would be this way. i am only 25 years old and just had a baby 7 months ago. when i was prego i got up to 300 lbs... i wanted to end it right there. but the worst part is is that my husband likes it. i would almost rather him tell me how fat and ugly i am so i develop an eating disorder. i wish i could throw up everything i eat... i've tried. now i have severe back pain and have a hard time picking up my kid. i feel like one day i will be that two ton woman that dies and has to get the roof torn off and lifted by a crane to get out of her house. i hate being fat!

[Dy]

Yes, being fat sucks. It sucks cos it makes you feel shit about yourself. It sucks cos it makes people look at you differently. It sucks cos it makes you sit in the back corner of your life instead of up the front, or centre stage.

HOWEVER

Get over it.

Yes; Get. Over. It.

Think you've tried EVERYTHING? I HIGHLY doubt that. Those are excuses people make for themselves to explain why they've failed.

Some people spend (waste) YEARS trying different diets & gimmicks to lose weight, and it's rare any of them stick. Instead you end up bigger than when you started and/or having wasted lots of money. You all want to lose weight FAST. Right here, right now. You're looking for some miracle because the number on the scales or the long road ahead of you just looks too unchievable. Unachievable because there's just such an overwhelming amount to lose.

No one is interested in losing weight the old fashioned way. "It takes too long". Take those years (& for some people it's their entire lives), all that time spent trying to *lose weight FAST*. Restricting (starving) yourself for days, week(s), month(s), followed be days, weeks(s), months(s) of binging, over eating, YET all this time later you're still burdened with the same continuous, mind numbing issues. Now imagine you did this all the lengthier, albeit effective - not to mention healthier - way. Who cares if it takes one year, or two, or FIVE. Those could potentially be the same years you'd spend wasting time being depressed, feeling like crap and yo-yoing with food.

You could start TODAY. Eaten too much already? Don't feel up for it? STOP THINKING THIS WAY. Don't ever tell yourself you'll leave it till tomorrow, because tomorrow comes & tomorrow goes and then the next day comes and goes etc. & you'll still be procrastinating. Just long enough to have that snack you wanted, or bury your head in a tub of icecream. It's hard to stop and break away from it all. I know, I really do. It would be so wonderful, so very glorifying to be thin, and feel good about yourself, have others feel good about you. But for some reason that all just seems too far away and unachievable, and eating your favourite food is the closest, fastest thing to feeling good and glorified (in that moment) you have. But you know how you feel the moment you're done. Is it worth it in the grand scheme of things?

It possibly *could* take years. But so what? You HAVE the time. You can spend that time taking small steps (none of this restrictive dieting which doesn't allow you the time to adjust) and slowly incorporating changes into your life. 6 months, a year or two could pass and you could have made LIFE CHANGING changes -or- be IN THE SAME or a WORSE place than where you're at right NOW.

Not sure if anyone may have heard about this brilliant chick, Shauna Reid, or Dietgirl as she's known in internet land. She HALFED her weight, went from 160 kg (350lb) to just under 80kg (176lbs). It took her OVER 5 years. Everything you, or I, feel/felt, she was feeling it. She made the change and she's living her life the way she wants & is happy. Had she done nothing, she could be in a worst place. She was a great inspiration to me & if you havn't heard of her already, I'm positive you could get something out of her writings. I know many people have achieved weight loss sucess & such though I think many people lacking in motivation, or looking for inspiration will enjoy her blogs & writings simply because she did write about it as she went along, and many will really be able to identify with the motions.

Just search Diet Girl in Google.

The most important thing is to not rush yourself. Take the time you need. I know it may seem so bloody impossible & far away, but with the right changes, in due time you will get to where you want to be. Think about it, months or years may seem so overwhelming & out of reach, but you could be realistic and use that time to be consistent & do it the RIGHT, long term way OR you could spend the SAME amount of time (and most likely longer) going backwards, putting more weight on, trying diets XYZ and being depressed & hating yourself.

It's so hard to believe in / appreciate yourself right now, but when you see small results from the small changes you've made, you'll build momentum & learn to / begin to value yourself so you can go further - & you CAN.

How can you start?

Just go have a glass of water right now.

Also, being realistically healthy doesn't mean you need to cut out all the foods you enjoy - just have it in reasonable quanities.

You don't need to have lots of money. The internet is a fantastic tool; educate yourself (if you havn't already).

You ARE capable.

[Francesca]

Oh my God this sounds like me. At least we have each other. (I'm glad you did this.) Honestly I'm sitting here with my 2nd medium bag of peanut m&ms. Food is my drug. No matter the consequences, I can't quit.
I guess you could say I was once thin without trying, and then my metabolism slowed when I hit 25. I've been fat longer than I want to even admit. I have dietted and that just made me more obssessed with food. I feel like back then I showed more control with food than thin people ever have to and it never even got me thin, just less overweight.
I bottomed out at 200 lbs. I did have some success on atkins for awhile, and then I got sick and here I am back at the 190s. I tried not to look at those humiliating mandatory weigh ins at the doctor, but I saw those evil numbers. Again I'm not sure what the answer is when food is your drug. Anyone tried OA? I do know that I want to strangle people who talk about diet and exercise.
And more strangely I have been handling it lately by just laughing at myself. It just seems so ridiculous and it's like it's not happening to me when I laugh. Does anyone else here do that?

[Fatty Mcgee]

Well the thing is im a compulsive overeater. It's a hard thing to admit to be controlled by food. Before you scoff, i suggest you shut-up. It's like being bulimic only you don't purge... and it's worse... God it's so much worse. Now im eating more and more and I don't care and its killing me. I feel like im drowning in the middle of a godamd pool and the life gaurd is looking right at me...

Recovering is hard..life is hard

But there is hope. There is...Im not without hope, but when you look like a picassco painting my god.. its goddamd agony.
It's not about trying a fucking diet to loose weight, i fucking know how. I know all that shit. But the the pain of being lost, the pain of being in my reality.. so different...

I wish i was ugly. I was an ugly person. But im the pretty sweet obese girl. The one who is dying. slowly. and at 21 years has had enough and dosn't care.

agony.

[taylor]

I hate being fat! but ill be he first to admit i dont actually hate it enough to do anything about it. I have been fat since 6th grade and it sucks! i hate sitting in class and worrying about how tight my shirt is so that people might see my many rolls. ughh it sucks! When I was about 11 both my parents joined the peace core and i stayed with my grandparents for an entire summer. I must have gained at least 20 pounds and after that the weight jus kept piling on. I got teased all through middle school and I started highschool at 160! Im now In my senior year and I weigh 172! and im only 5 foot 6. last summer i lost 12 pounds but somehow gained it all back plus some during the school year. I need to lose at least 30 pounds but I have no motivation to do it. My parents both tell me that I need to "shape up" but they still let me eat whatever I want. its disgusting I actually get up 20 minutes earlier so I can eat a big breakfast. I dont eat much in school but yeseterday I went to McDonalds and I got two chessburgers and a large fry and ate the whole thing! I just eat and eat. my friends are all skinny and Im just the fat girl. but its my fault I eat wayyyy to much and dont exercise at all. I love to eat but hate being fat. I hate going to the doctors. I had to get a physical done for school which is when I discovered i now weighed 172 and not the 165 I thought. I hate how big my stomatch is and how my thighs tub together. its gross. Its entirely my fault though I know I can lose weight if i were to diet again but I dont want to stop eating. whenever I feel sad or upset or anything i just eat my favoritecomfort foods. ugh this is horrible.

[confused]

someone please tell me if im fat cause im tired of people making fun of me and calling me fat im 5'5" and i weigh 121 please tell me if thats fat

[Renee]

This comment is absolutely familiar. "I hate being fat!"

This title truly speaks to us all. I wish you all the best in your endeavors to lose the weight that you want for you. Or to find acceptance where you are today.

I can honestly tell you that weight is a challenge when your concentrating on the negativity of it all. It can consume you literally. While I think the title is appropriate, it is the negative hurtful things we say to ourselves that is not.

From a life experience of dieting extremes there are some things that have helped. Visiting a Doctor to get a true measure of health (to make sure that the weight is not medical), seeking nutritional help, spiritual & or counseling and more.

You all deserve to be happy in the skin you are in today. You are capable of achieving your dreams and goals, because who you truly are is not measured by the size you wear. Don't wait for tomorrow, grasp life today.

It is hard work to lose weight and I wont lie the journey ahead will have its ups and downs. It is hard to have a positive mind set each and every day, but you whole heartedly deserve to be happy regardless of your size. Here is just some general information about positive self talk. Thanks for starting this forum!

Well wishes of health,
R

[Val]

Unbelievable! I typed in "I hate myself because I'm fat" and here I am! I'm 42 years old with a back and neck injury and now starting perimenopause. Exercise is painful, and I do try, but one day of decent exercise equals one day of pain in bed. I've always had a weight problem and take thyroid meds and diabetes meds, but since I've truned 40 I seem to have even a harder time just not gaining. I'm 5'5" and 200lbs! I look like a sick fat bloated ugly repulsive cow. Yes, I hate myself. When I try to eat right, my dear family sabotages me. They dont mean too, but just now my skinny 14 year old daughter just brought me a coke with ice. (heavy sigh) Some days I want to die. Other days I want to cover my head and stay in bed. It's getting to the point where I don't care anymore if I leave my house becuase I am so disgusted with how I look and feel I don't want to impose my ugliness on others. Yes, I hate myself and I am ugly and fat!

[confused]

is 5'5" and 121 pounds fat for a 16 year old girl?!!?!?!?! cause people call me fat

[FatBlogger]

Confused;

I hesitated to reply because I thought you were joking around.

No, 5'5" and 121 pounds is not fat for a woman. You have a BMI (Body Mass Index) of only 20. You would have to be 150 pounds to even be considered overweight, and even that is borderline.

My advice to you....get new friends! Because anyone calling you fat is a jerk!

[latisha]

hey fatblogger,
i have a weight problem too. im 5'2" and i weigh 175 yes i know im a whale can anyone give me advice on how to lose weight? please and thank you

[FatBlogger]

Latisha,

About a week ago you were 5'5 and weighed 121 pounds, how did you get shorter by 3" and gain 54 pounds?

[latisha]

im using my friends email address we are sharing this one. so what is your advice to me cause i hate being fat and im tired of everyone making fun of me cause of my weight.

[FatBlogger]

Wow, you guys sound EXACTLY alike.

How do your friends make fun of you?

[latisha]

my friends not fat but i am! cause im 5'2" and i weigh 175 please help!!!

[FatBlogger]

Latisha, there is only one way to lose weight: eat less and exercise more.

But you already know that right? My experience is that being fat is a choice, and food can be an addiction to fill some other needs in our lives. It doesn't matter what kind of diet you go on, none are going to work until you figure out why you are using food to feel better about yourself. That is a journey you have to take on your own, and making your own rules up as you go. Look to make your self more healthy, not less fat.

The best advice I can give you is this; If your friends are making fun of you because you are fat, find knew friends because those suck.

Have a good weekend and good luck on your journey for better health.

[me!gottaproblemwithittoofuckinbad]

Its easy. Its called a "fuckin joke". Come on tell me that this so called "asshole"..called by society by the name of God doesn't play "favortism"?. Oh..oh.."your probably thinking".."my golly gosh..she sounds so "darn" angry!. Fuck Yeah!!! I've got these bitches who up-chuck every meal so they can obtain their size "0 to 2" bodies. I've dealt with asshole men who love the fact that they are pucking their fucking guts out "just for them". Its a "pathetic" joke (I wanna laugh, but then wanna "puke" myself) when these so "called".."wonderful" "kind" "coworkers"..who claim they are your "friends" grab the quarter inch of fat on their gut and then cry into the mirror..."ohhhh".."i'm soooo fat!!" I'm just sick of the "whole thing" now. I've done the fuckin "Weight Watchers", I've done EVERYTHING!!..even ..Yes even "Bypass"..(asshole!). I got down to 109 pounds. Ya know those big ole black giant garbage bags they have? Ya know those ones that you "usually" put all your "leaves n dogshit" in? "Imagine" tieing one of those fuckers on to your waist. But before you do, fill in half way with water. Thats the "enjoyment", I "felt" after Bypass. It was "hell"!! I couldn't figure out what was worse..being fat or being 109 pounds but my skin/body looking like it was 109 years old. I'm "sick n tired" of "this "so-called" life. I'm sick n tired of trying "over n over" again, trying to "prove" to these "asshole" employers..who could "give a shit"..if I was (within any minute) to drop dead. They're too busy gettin a "hard on" watchin some "dumb-ass" "pathetic-beyond stupid" "little bitch" who's a size 0, with a friggin pencil stuck in her fuckin ear whimpering.."oh.oh..oh..I duz jus dan't knows wuz wong wit me..i's..ohhh "wittle ole me"..jus..jus..(whimpering some more).."can't figure out dis "big oleee com..puterrr"...I'm just "done"...today..I am 'officially" through!!!!!

[Amy]

Well, I am 28 years old 5'3" and weigh 198 lbs. I have always struggled with my weight. Usually I would weigh in at 160 lbs. though. My heaviest weight was app.240 lbs and that was awful!! I got down to 135 lbs (size 6!!!) 2 years ago.I am starting to feel that awful feeling again, as I have been working out for 10 weeks. I walk 4 miles a day 6 days a week (medium paced) I even do intervals of jogging...! I have only lost 2 lbs and have been eating pretty good. It sounds weird but I love my inner self but hate me on the outside! I just want to be comfortable. I am not asking to weigh 120!! Why is this sooo... hard!!

[grace kelly]

Im 16 and i have a formal coming up and i hate being this fat??? wat do i do

[chriss]

i hate being fat. I am 13 and weigh 206 pounds!I have friends but we r the loser group at school. I will never have a boyfriend and i hate never fitting into any "cool" clothes. I like myself but not my body. I have stretch marks all over my thighs and can barely squeeze into the desks at school. People are nice to me byt i just don't feel comfortable. I wish i could lose at least 15 pounds.

[chriss]

heyy... i like being fat but am scared that i'll never get a boyfriend. I love everything about my rolls and i love my love handles. i am 13 and weigh 206 pounds but my mom is not fat at all and neither is my sister. they support me alot and i do have friends. sometimes i wish i could fit into the cute clothes that everyone gets from abercrombie ( a&f doesn't even fit me). I've always been fat since i was 3. Every year i would gain about 20 pounds, but now i gain about 30-40 pounds a year. i like being fat but sometimes i wish people wouldn't judge me before they get to know me. if anyone else has similar feelings.. please add to this website...

[chriss]

hey... being fat is awesome...idk wat ur talkin about. I have lots of friends and have had 7 boyfriends already.

[ym]

stop hating yourself, it's a crutch!

[cassandra]

Lol.
I just did the same thing from google and this popped up.
I am 17 and weigh 195. I am SO sick of the way I look. I am SO sick of trying, right now I am exercising and eating less.. and guess what!? NO DIFFERENCE!!!!!
i am not loosing anything, I hate myself. I hate my self so badly. My best friend weighs like 108 and can literally eat 2000 calories every day for a week straight and not gain a pound. I effing eat like bread and the scale goes up. I use to make myself throw up, i still do. depends on how guilty and sad i am. I do try and stop eating, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Like I feel like I will never be happy with myself until I am thin. I hate my whole body, even my face. I never take a compliment from everyone, I just feel like they are giving me pity.
I pray that by the end of summer I will ATLEAST be down to 175. and that is a lot of weight. but I guess I just need a goal, you know?
I hate everything about myself.
Last year i even covered my whole mirror in papers so I wouldn't have to look at myself.
I don't even know anymore=[
sad sad sad sad

[len]

Cha - you need to get over yourself. The MAJORITY of our population is overweight. And they don't do drugs or want to hurt themselves. Don't you realize that your attitude and drug use will only deplete your already withering self-esteen thereby causing you to gain more weight?

You need an attitude adjustment. And maybe then you will be able to tackle your weight loss attempts a bit better.

As for why I think I have the right to say this - I think I know better than anybody here how much it sucks to be fat! Why do I claim such an honor? Well you see, up until a few years ago, I had it all. I was really thin, very good-looking, and very popular. And then, because of a personality change that made me start thinking and acting exactly like CHA, I started to pack on the pounds.

I kne how good it felt to be healthy and attractive. It makes carrying my fat ass around all that much more horrible for me.

[Respect To You]

What can i say after hours and hours of sifting through site after site i come across one that actually makes sense and says it as it is without any fluffy bullshit. Topmarks to you for being so open and frank its good to hear someone else say how you feel. Change can be made but it takes untold strength willpower and determination, i havent found it myself yet but i do know that if i ever stop trying to find it then there will never be any hope so some hope is better than no hope just got to keep trying my man! Respect to you for your honesty! Its Real!

[Tannen]

I find a bit of this hilarious, anyways I'm 16 and weight about over 300lbs. Hell, I don't even hate myself like the people above do. lol. Anyways I don't diet but I eat about once or less a day normally.

[Skittlez]

I know how you all feel. I was always the fat girl with hardly any friends, and was never asked out!. At 18 (19 now)i was at my highest... 209 lbs!! i was like "OMG this is not acceptable anymore, i look terrible, UGLY, and clothes look like crap on me" lol. i also never wanted to be out in public because of the way i looked, it was so depressing. well i started dieting and exercising my ass off and have lost 78 lbs, im down to 131 now and i plan on losing more, i feel great =] All i can say is dont give up. Think of it as a life and death situation, if you keep getting bigger you will die, so think of those who love you and that you love and need to be around for and that should be plenty motivation to stick with your diet! good luck everybody

[Sunny1960]

Well, it happened AGAIN. Met a blind date for the first time -- and the two weeks of e-mails and conversation (daily)went pffft -- everything changed when he saw me. No more hour-long phone calls, no plans to get together, no interesting notes back and forth. I made sure to send recent and accurate photos of myself, precisely so I could avoid that horrid moment when the look of dissapointment crosses his face. And here I am, hating my body and hating the hopeful peeks at my e-mail, still wanting that "You've Got Mail" moment.

Sigh. I'm the fat girl. Again.

[McFuzzy]

I came here today feeling heavy with emotion. The feeling of being overweight is simply unbearable, as I have deduced on my own, and sometimes I just can't help but hate myself. It affects every one of us, every day, constantly nudging up to bite us in the asses. I can't take pictures of myself, and on my dearest of memories, I have pictures of eevryone else but myself. I look down or other ways when I'm in a mirror, or simply passing a glass door. My reflection is my enemy, and it is slowly killing me inside. I cringe in disgust at what I see in pictures. When I look at my face alone, I figure that I could be a pretty girl if I had the body for it, but to no avail will I ever really attain my dream. I have always been the "fat kid," and I'm fairly sure that the title will never be redeemed. If I ever become thin, will I be truly happy with myself? Will I stop seeing double chins in my pictures, will I stop hurtning myself? It's hard to think of a life when I'm happy with my body; but then again, who is? Thin poeple have never felt this pain, though; this unmistakable merciless pain inside of our hearts; the pain of having your parents call you fat or put you on diets; the pain of never having a boyfriend; and all of this pain turns into hatred because it hides our shame and our tears. See me now, as I am, and that is who I'll be branded as for the rest of my life. I feel you suffering, friends, and I believe it is time for this hatred and pain to end. I'd like to think that if we wait long enough, we will find our solutions in our own way, but the reality is that we have to make initiative. I'm tired of being fat; are you?

[Dani]

Being Fat is the worst thing ever in my books!

Im 20 years old and i am FAT FAT FAT! I am a size 16 and its just keeps going up! i used to be thin and pretty! i have gone froma size 10-12 to a 16 and rising (australian size).

I have a loving boyfriend and a Great Life but i cant stop eating, I am extreemly unhappy and i wouldnt mind if i just died! Dropped dead today and it would make everything better, i wouldnt have to look at my fat body or deal with getting clothes that dont fit because they are mostly too small or to Big.

There is so much meida saying that we have to look a certain way and people say its wrong!! Y is it wrong to be thin and Healthy! People dont just get fat! Its because of Many different issues weather it be physical, Mental or you just plain Wrong diet and LAZY!! Everybody wishes that there is some miracle Cure BUT guess WHAT there isnt! Being skinny is great, i would ba if i could but i cant!

Too all thoes people out there are FAT and no matter what you have tried the WEIGHT does not move for than 2kg!!! IT suxs we try so hard and no results!

Good Luck! IM SO SICK OF BEING FAT AND UGLY!!

[Thomas]

yeah i hate being fat too... i actually have no idea how i got fat really seems like overnight all my life ive been playing every sport i could everyday. But the main thing i hate about being fat is the sweating, i dont do anything anymore i never go out to the store the mall i dont even have a job because of how much i sweat it really sucks bad.

[Derek]

Hey there, my names Derek... I'm a 17 year old male and I weight in about 225... And I just don't know what to do anymore... I use to play football, and run cross country, and was on the varsity swim team, and even played boys volleyball... My dad's been overweight ever since I can remember and me and him even ran a triathlon together... So I can do all these things and was okay at them... And wasn't drained by it.. But I've always had stretch marks.. And been huge... And I sweat 24/7.. All over, all the time... And I can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do.. I go to the gym I run, I bike, I swim, I lift, I watch what I eat, I only drink water... And to top it off I have a beautiful girlfriend and I wan't to look good for her too... I just don't know what to do anymore.. Please help..

[anon]

Its' simple, for all you people leaving comments. You don't go on a diet, that is lame. Eat healthy, don't count calories and actually exercise. Its easier to hate yourself than physically do something. I used to be fat and lost over 70lbs. So I feel no sympathy if you don't go exercise 30 minutes every other day and eat vegtables, fish, fruit, and whole grains.

I used to hate myself, and sometime I still strive for perfection and get down on myself because I can't see all the muscles in my body yet.

[Derek]

Anon... 8th grade I was 200lb's... I went in Freshman year.. Played football.. And kicked ass.. Lost 50 and was down to 150.. Then I joined the swimteam... And so on so forth.. This year, I'm a senior... And I'm back at 240.... None of it's muscle... I eat pretty healthy... And I Exercize for 2 hours everymorning at the gym... I run/swim/bike and lift weights.. vigorusly... I don't want sympothy.. I wan't fucking out... I want people to see all the work I put into it... I want to be the stud at the pool partys and girls know I'm not a prick... I want to be able to wear a medium again... Havn't since like gradeschool...

[FatBlogger]

I haven't been around much on the blog, and I apologize for that.

For the obese and chronically over-weight, there is more to it than exercise and diet. Sure, yes, do those two things and you will lose fat probably. But that is like telling an alcoholic, "it's simple, just cut back on your booze". It doesn't work very often because its an addiction, a symptom of some other disease.

Add to that the skewed view we have of what a body needs to look like to be accepted, and it is a recipe for disaster.

Derek, how tall are you? Maybe you are just a big kid, and you need to accept yourself in that way. Keep working out, make gradual, healthier changes to your diet, and let your body decide where it needs to be. People will like you for who you really are, not who you think they want you to be.

[Derek]

Six Foot right on the dot. And yeah I've always been a big kid and so has my dad.. And I know that's the truth of the matter but I want to love myself for me too and at the moment I don't and that's a problem.. It's not like.. "I don't accept myself" Because I do.. It's just.. In the bottom of my heart I know I can look/do/feel better.. but no matter how much effort I keep pumping in I just don't get the results I want... I don't know...

[chunkygurl]

hey there im 17 and i hate my body my thighs allways rub together when i walk like im going to start a forest fire! i use to be thin really thin everyone would allways say carle you can eat anything you want and still stay skin and bones but then in 8th grade i just started becoming lazy and eating everything in sight food became very importent in my life when before it didnt matter to me in the leasti am in highschool and i ve only had 2 boyfriends in my life i feel hideous i wish i wasent such a fatass i am nowa size 17 i want to dress in pretty girly things like all the girls at my skool but i am too fat so i wear band t shirts and jeans

[Steve]

I have been fat all of my life and it has realy damaged my social life i am too scared to meet new people and i still feel embarresed around my oldest friends i am only 16 and i weigh 17 stone around 220 pounds i think. AHHHHHH i feel as if i will always be fat which makes me hate myself because i don't know what it is like to be a normal weight i can't control myself i just don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sandysue]

What on earth good does it do to come here and whine? Complainers without solutions are boring and tedious. Take responsibility. Be accountable. Quit watching TV and go for a walk. Quit buying Twinkies and potato chips, then you won't eat them. Drink more water. There are a million little things to change your lifestyle, one bit at a time. You just have to decide that you don't want to use your weight as an excuse for what you're not doing with your life.

[bookwormgirl]

First of all--Sandysue, you may be right in some cases but certainly not all. If you don't like complaining, why even read this blog?? I'm sure there are better things for you to do than read this blog if you don't enjoy it.

I'm 25 years old and weigh 200 pounds. I was stick-thin until middle school--in middle school, I grew to 5'4" and 140 pounds (I'd *hardly* call that fat now). All through middle school and high school I maintained that weight. It wasn't until I got married that I began to gain more weight. In my first year of marriage, I gained 40 pounds. I started going to the gym and working out for an hour to an hour and a half 3-4 times a week. I lost 20 lbs in two months. Then I got divorced. I met someone a year later and gained the 20 lbs back, plus another 20. (All that darn eating out). In my current situation, I drive 4.5 hours a day (back and forth to work--thankfully only a temporary thing) and sit at a desk for 8. I sleep for 7. So that leaves me 30 min to get ready for work, an hour of lunch at work and then 3 hours at home to clean, cook, work outside and do whatever else needs to be done. I can't wait until I have more time, so I can go back to the gym.
I hate being fat--but I also recognize that I'm the only one who can change that. I try not to worry what other people think and focus more on why I need to change. Sure, it would be nice to fit into smaller sizes again but more importantly, I only have one body, one life. I need to do whatever I can to care for it properly!
I've read a lot of posts on here. I hope that everyone who has posted on here is finding ways to deal with their individual situations, whether that is changing your diet/exercise or improving your self-esteem or any other number of solutions. Good luck to us all!

[fatty]

I hate being fat! im sick of it! no matter how hard i try i just cant lose weight! everyday i wake up and think that today im not going to eat anything fatning and by the end of the day im eating whateveri can find! and then after that i fall into serious depresssion. Im the only fat person in my family, my sisters are stick thin! i look like a fat sore thumb comapred to them :( wish i was thin....its so hard

[can't stand being fat]

i'm only 15 and i weight 330 and it sucks!! escpecially since people in high school are so mean i wish i could just be skinny it would make everything better