Okay, so I am a self-deprecating loser...
the question is why stay fat if I am so miserable? Why choose to be like this if I hate it and me so much? I think that is the key word here, choose, because I am making a choice here. Sure, there are people out there who have metabolism problems or genetic dispositions towards obesity, but maybe that accounts for 5% of fat people? No, face up to the cold hard facts, for most of us, we simply choose to be fat, we simply choose to put that extra amount of food into us daily. WHY?
Do I choose to be fat because I just enjoy eating so much? Man, I love to cook. I enjoy trying new things and mixing up different recipes trying to get it just right. I am not so discriminate about what I eat however, and there really is no reason why a person who enjoys cooking as a hobby has to be fat too. Besides, when it’s 11:00 at night and I am up to my ears inside a Ruffles bag chasing it down with a Pepsi or a beer, there aint much gourmet there.
No, it has to be for some other reason, but whatever it is I should not kid myself. I am fat because I want to be fat and I choose it over being fit (or at least healthy) because it suits me somehow. I get something out of it and it must be more than the instant gratification of gorging on potato chips or chocolate ice-cream. This choice I make must have some pretty strong and deep roots to be able to withstand all the lonely nights, the broken promises to myself, the lost days and weeks and years. Being fat protects me, or attempts to fill a bottomless void, in a way that must mean something more to me than suffering self and societal contempt. But what? What could be so important to me and remain such a well hidden secret to my own conscious?
So, why do I really choose to be fat?
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It’s funny how movies can make you feel. Today a movie came on and I was compelled to watch it, "Lost in Translation". It definitely had a melancholy about it, a quiet desperation. Maybe it is just me. Lately I have been very tearful at the slightest things. Obviously I am a bit depressed. It comes and goes, usually coinciding with frustration over losing weight.
"Do I need to worry about you Bob?"... "Only if you want to."
you get what you settle for. don't settle you all can lose weight. love yourself and your set!
Posted by: kittycat | January 21, 2012 at 10:29
I am only 14 and i already weigh 280 i have been in sports my whole life ... i have a BMI of 35% body fat!!! i cant believe it, its the carbs i crave and only carbs, but the doctor said that in a nutshell im a alergic to carbs and they make me gain alot of weight. im sitting here 2:17 and i dont think i even want to live anymore when i know that even tho i go on these diets im not losing weight, if only there was an easy way to lose fat
Posted by: Shelbie | June 26, 2011 at 02:19
Why do I choose to be fat? I'm only 20 I should be living the prime of my life... and yet I am so unhappy and i feel so stuck your right its more then just food I don't like sugar or soda I just like salt fry's are my every thing and it makes me so upset. I want to run and be athletic but when my belly sways from side to side I want to give up and keep hating life, myself, everything.
Posted by: Kellie W. | June 06, 2011 at 00:12
God, i feel as if i found kindred spirits! ive been heavy practically all my life,and over the last 2 years ive put on more weight. Ive tried diet pills from the doctor,even buying an outfit just for working out(supposedly its supposed to boost morale for working out),ive tried retail therapy when i felt low, and now im even lower because of the credit bills,but back to the fat thing.Ive had my thyroid tested and there was notihng wrong with it from what they told me,ive exersized,did the 6 wk body makeover,Alli. im burned out, and i also love to cook, its the only thing that doesnt judge me. im in a relationship with a loving guy, but ive been hurt so much its almost like im waiting for the other shoe to drop.bad huh? well im also rambling,so im going to go on with my day. God bless
Posted by: shug | July 09, 2009 at 09:47
I am fat. I hate myself, and that makes me hate my life. I am unbelievable unhappy, although I am surrounded by my beautiful son and loving husband, my weight overshadows everything. It depresses me into a giant pit that I dont believe I will ever get out of. I am surrounded by thin, beautiful women, and I hide in shame under baggy clothes. I feel too ugly to love, and my marriage is suffering because of it. I am too ashamed to seek help. I have been truly fat now for going on 5 years. I have always been the fat friend, always larger than all my friends, and always had a problem with my body, so I ate to deal with it. The more I ate, the bigger I got, and the more depressed I got. The more ashamed I felt, the further it went. I am disgusted by my wedding pictures. Its not like I havent tried to lose it. God, have I tried sooo many things. Things that should work, but never do. Sorry, Im rambling now, I just finally feel as though I found a place to speak whats on my mind.
Posted by: Amanda | April 10, 2009 at 21:51
I'm fat. I'm fat because . . . I'm too damn lazy to exercise. It hurts. It doesn't feel good, it hurts. My butt is so big I can't get any pants on. Not just bigger, not any. My sweats stretch across my butt and show every dimple in my cheeks and thighs. It's gross. I thought I ate to hide beneath the fat. When I'm thin, I have been raped, beaten, cheated on and with and lost jobs over men who can't keep their hands off my body. So I ate, covered it up and eliminated the men being attracted to me problem. But then I thought I dealt with it, you know, not letting the old stuff control my life, I was sexually abused by a family member from the age of 6 to the age of 15. I thought facing it, talking about it with a therapist would help. It hasn't. I know longer hurt over the past, but I still eat and sit on my extra large hind end. Too lazy to work out, too lazy to walk, too lazy to ride my horses. This is nuts.
Posted by: Sandy | February 24, 2009 at 10:32
"This choice I make must have some pretty strong and deep roots to be able to withstand all the lonely nights, the broken promises to myself, the lost days and weeks and years. Being fat protects me, or attempts to fill a bottomless void, in a way that must mean something more to me than suffering self and societal contempt. But what? What could be so important to me and remain such a well hidden secret to my own conscious? " Wow, you really get it !!! I have been digging deep mentally and spiritually to answer this very question. Why do I stay fat when I'm miserable? What am I protecting myself from? I googled "God, Why am I fat" and got your site. I feel such empathy for all the other posters. I believe we are addicted to sugar (and carbs turn into sugar). We all may have other addictions as well. The question is why do we have these addictions while others have no addictions (I'm a recovering alcoholic - sober 21 years.) I also smoke a pack a day. I'm 45 years old, 5'6" and 250 lbs and wear size 22. My back hurts all the time. My knees, feet, all hurt. I'm so tired all the time. I'm now insulin resistant (pre-diabetic) I feel bad for my daughters (ages 6 and 10) because Mommy is just too tired. I don't know the answers, I just have more questions.
Posted by: fatmom | November 01, 2008 at 20:48
Oh my God I love this blog. I feel the same way what is it that keeps me fat? I binge eat too,because I am unhappy. I working on it,always good to know that I am not alone. Thanks
Posted by: Fatty McFatty | September 20, 2008 at 21:07
I used to be 125 and I am 5'7''. I never had a weight problem or eating issues, in fact I used to eat quite a lot then after I turned 28, I moved in with a boyfriend and within 3 months gained 35 pounds,
then at work everyone thought I was preganant and my boss confronted me about it,
that was very hurtful and not even legal in my state!!
So now I think I weigh about 165 and see that it is unhealthy for my height even for medical reasons, not vanity,
I am fat because I over eat fattening, high calorie foods,
It is no surprise- I do not exercise nor diet, I just binge eat on brownies and fried chicken.
I think for me at least I am fat because I am unhappy with my life and binge eating relieves only temporarily some of the pain.
Posted by: suzie | January 18, 2008 at 18:57
Fat ....yeah former beauty now just fat. been married 26 years...good life....not happy.... just fat
Posted by: cindy | October 31, 2006 at 19:29
"IM FAT BUT TODAY I ATE THREE DEBBIE CAKES.. SOME ICECREAM. PLUS MY MEALS..WHAY IS WRONG WITH ME ,, I WISH I KNEW"
I note that you are bingeing on sugary foods, not meat or fish! There is something about high-carb foods that makes us crave and eat too many of them.
Posted by: Helena | October 17, 2006 at 05:49
HI THERE.. I WISH I KNEW THE ANSWER.. WHY DO I CHOSE TO BE FAT..IVE HAD FOUR CHILDREN AND NEVER LOST ALL THE WT WITH ANY OF THEM.I HAVE FOUR BEAUTIFUL GROWN KIDS. BEAUTIFUL GRANDBABIES.. FINALLY AFTER TWO DIVORCES..MY SOULMATE FOR A HUSBAND.. BUT IM SAD AND MISERABLE BECAUSE IM FAT BUT TODAY I ATE THREE DEBBIE CAKES.. SOME ICECREAM. PLUS MY MEALS..WHAY IS WRONG WITH ME ,, I WISH I KNEW
Posted by: HI THERE | March 15, 2006 at 20:48