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I know this is years ago now, but I just read it today. You literally have the words from my head written out already. I Googled "fat self-hatred", because that's where I am this morning. I look in the mirror and hate myself, I'm disgusted with what looks back. I barely consider myself human. I know it's costing me so much socially, emotionally and economically, and yet I continue to eat like I'm trying to eat myself to death.
I'm sorry there are others going through this too, but I guess that means I'm not alone.



I've been posting about this today too. I wonder, what would it take for you to stop hating yourself? Maybe that's what you should be striving for instead of focusing on how much you weigh. Start loving yourself and either the weight will fix itself, or it wont matter any more.

Thanks for the posts at Xenical Diaries. Glad to see I have a blogging buddy too!!!



Jeez, thanks guys. I always feel like you are saving me or something! What is this, intervention #5? I think I got it this time, and I am glad I have blogging buddies like you.



I want you to know that you have friends who care about you. You are a decent, wonderful, kind person. You care. You care about your family and people you have never met.

Those feelings of hating yourself may be depression. I am sure you have thought of that. But they are learned responses to your self connection and you can change the way you feel about yourself.

You are not alone.


I do know that you are very hard on yourself---there are many people who love you; they can't all be wrong! You should ask your wife and friends to write down why they like you and keep reading over what they say until you believe it. Here's a couple to get you started: You are a deep thinker who really wants to get yourself and life figured out. You jump in to help out when crises happen, like Hurricane Katrina. You sincerely care about parenting your teenager, in spite of all its frustrations. To that end, you even read books about parenting. (that's hard-core) You are funny in the kind of wry, sarcastic way that I understand and like.


Right. I wish it was as easy as getting self-awareness. If that is what it would take, then a lot of people in therapy would not have the problems they continue to have. I am sorry to admit that even with insight I still do the same thing. It is true that at the bottom I must hate myself too. But how to find it within myself to love me and stop all the craziness with food, is an enigma to me.

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