I suppose I should be grateful that I have an answer. Even if it is not a positive one, it is a revealing one; I am just not serious about losing weight. For whatever reason I want to remain fat.
After my folks left I was faced with returning to this months goals, namely just 4 things; eat more veggies, drink more water, get more activity and rest. Simple enough but for whatever reason the whole thing was lumped into the same basket as losing weight, and indeed if felt the same.
There was this feeling of dread and expectation, and I kept putting off the idea of starting, looking for a "better day" to begin. It was as if I was going to go on a restrictive diet, the same feelings and emotions associated with dieting. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Put it off, put it off, put it off. Even something as small and easy as this, seems like a mountain to climb, a cross to bear. I even binged once, despite the fact that there were no restrictions on food at all!
So obviously there is more going on here.
I knew that though, I have thought about this stuff A LOT. So is it really that much of a surprise or that revealing?
Yes and no. Not so much that there is other stuff going on, but more so that whatever it is, it prevents even the most smallest of improvements. There is not diet plan, no event or "better day" that is going to be able to break through that, and I must admit I am at a bit of a loss right now as to what will.
I am finally getting a chance to catch up on blogs. I could have wrote most of this very post myself. I am coming out to say the same thing. I guess I don't really want to lose the weight, so I took your (and a few other peoples) advice and I am not going in that direction for now. I am only trying to be healthier--exercising more is mostly all. When people do lose the weight is seems that all the stars and planets must line up just right in their lives. I think that when there is too much stress or other things to distract our attention from the weight loss, it just doesn't work. Timing must be the critical part! I think my timing is not right. Or I would be there!
Posted by: Krista | July 14, 2006 at 12:58
I thought you looked like a football jock in your photo, so I'm not the one to ask. It's about how you feel and what you want. Maybe the time is not right with the new baby. Something will motivate you eventually. You just have to figure out what.
Posted by: Margaret | July 13, 2006 at 20:39
I'm so very with you on this one that the only thing I can think to say is that I know you'll figure it out and I'm here for you in the meantime.
Posted by: Denise | July 13, 2006 at 09:33
I'm sorry that this is being difficult for you. I have to say that exercise has been so great for me that of course I want to recommend it but opinions are like *ssholes...and I want you to know that whatever you do, or don't do, or whatever you weigh, you are still an AWESOME person and I for one adore you wholeheartedly.
Posted by: Felicity | July 13, 2006 at 07:34