I have had trouble sticking with it. One could easily say that I lost my commitment to change, or that maybe I never really had it to begin with. Regardless, as the saying goes, I am just moving the deck chairs around while the boat is sinking.
Food is a source of many things for me; relaxation, celebration, frustration...to name a few. I suppose that is why every “program” is met with such resistance and every day “tomorrow” seems like a much better option.
It is not just about the food obviously, but that is the star attraction, that is the big tent I put many things under. Weight-loss then becomes “the excuse” for avoiding many challenges, many possible failures. It is a cowardly way to live.
Habits grow, a path becomes well worn and familiar, and you start to like what you know, even if it is bad, even if it is literally killing you. Days become like bricks, and a wall of inertia is built that seems too high, too long, too thick. What is one more tomorrow, one more brick, compared to such a wall?
Yeah, you chip away at times, hell, sometimes you even get over it, past it. But its like a bungee cord is tied to your insides, and it often snaps you back with a vicious velocity so hard you don’t want to try it again until the sting is gone. How do you cut that cord?
This is not a thing unique to the obese. Drunks, addicts, smokers...we all seem tied to that wall. Yes, we all have set backs, we all fall...the path up and out is a spiral one, not a straight shot...but still...
Oh well, you have read this lament here before, maybe even experienced it firsthand. It goes on and on and on. People do break free, but it seems that they are rare indeed. Still, I always thought I could be one of them.
That's the frustrating thing about food, isn't it? With other addictions the solution is to just never, ever be around the source of the temptation. Can't do that with food, though. Which is what makes it so difficult to control, and so very frustrating.
Posted by: Chubby Mommy | July 29, 2007 at 14:55
Life is all about the ups and downs, the great achievements and the stumbles. It is also about wiping your self off and getting back on the horse (so to speak).
YOU CAN DO IT!! (Said with a Spanish accent to make it sound just a little funny - as life is all about laughter as well).
Posted by: Faith | June 26, 2007 at 12:12
You can and will be able to break free! Don't lose hope. It's very hard to lose weight and takes time.
Posted by: Margaret | June 20, 2007 at 22:02