FatBlogger

     MERRY CHRISTMAS

                   &

     HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

12 Miles!

Maybe the title should be "12 Friggin Miles!" or something like that.

Without a doubt, it is the farthest I have traveled on foot at one time...ever.  A mix of walking, jogging, peeing and going to the car to take off my sweatshirt... puts me at 3 hours and 15 minutes. At this point, I feel pretty confident that I can do the 13 mile half marathon in under 4 hours.

Why is 4 hours important? Well, that is when they close the race, though 30 people came in after 4 hours, the slowest in 5-1/2 hours, so I guess they keep taking the time?

Anyway, I am on pace for a 3-1/2 hour finish.

My heart and lungs are always with me, the legs, knees and ankles start screaming around mile 9.

OK, I have to say something about this marathon thing...WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? I suppose I thought I would lose weight, but I didn't. I suppose it would motivate me to lose weight...but it hasn't. It seems rather fraudulent to me, a big fat guy pretending to be a marathon runner. That bothers me more than a bit, it seems silly and stupid.

But then, training for it has been exercise I wouldn't have bothered to go and get, and completing it would be a nice bit if confidence and a good way to start the new year. So who knows...and who cares..right?

but seriously folks....

I've been in the witness protection program, in case your wondering.  I witnessed some serious eating on Thanksgiving (my own) and now my family wants to press charges, the Feds thought it best to hide me for my own protection. Things got a little dicey when we ran out of turkey and I poured gravy on the baby. He's just so plump and juicy!

To get you up to date...

I am still fat.

I am still training for the half marathon. Last weekend went a personal long distance of 10 miles (yea!)... in 2-1/2 hours (boo!)

I haven't been around, here or at your place, because basically I feel like I have nothing to say. I can't offer any advice on how to lose weight, because I ain't.

Over the past several months I have become convinced that I am a food junkie, hence the by-line. I get the shakes when I go on a diet, and I've started stealing things to feed my Ruffles habit.

My free time, like yours, is spent making sure I have a happy freaken holiday. Lights must be hung, turkey's cooked, gifts bought, nog must be drunk, travel plans must be made, more nog must be drunk...did I remember to pay the bills?

So, at night after the kids are asleep, I drift off in the midst of some banality, wandering the ether of satellite tv. Which is what I am about to do in 10 minutes. 

And that's all folks!