FatBlogger

Now what?

So, the first day of the new year...new decade...has arrived. And along with it, for many looking to change things,  anxiety. Boat loads of it. You don't know where to start, what to do, and the urge and the desire to "blow it" on the first day looms large. 

Well, don't sweat it. You, and me, we have a whole new year ahead of us, a whole new decade. For myself, I am going to start the new year off with a few resolutions, or at least think them over for today. What is it I want to achieve this year, the next 5 or 10? These resolutions don't have to be etched into marble, goals, like your life, has got to be flexible. However, they must also be firm enough that you intend to complete them, you will have to work hard to achieve them...for nothing, and I mean nothing, of value comes easy. 

So, if you in a quandary, feeling a bit confused, put your anxiety aside and do what I am, give it some thought. Take that first positive step by looking ahead and getting down on paper what you want to achieve this year, and list a few for the decade as well. Be realistic, but list a couple that will cause you to reach, work, strive. Its good for the soul...and body. 

Anyway, thats what I am doing today. Yeah, and watching a bit of football as well.  Hopefully tomorrow I will get back to you with what I have come up with. 

Countdown to the end of a decade.....and new beginnings?

I have read that some are calling the last ten as the "decade of hell". Not sure that I agree with that based on what we are facing ahead of us in the world right now...but it would be great if the worst is behind us instead of ahead of us...for sure. 

Maybe on a personal basis we can strive to put the worst behind us, particularly those of us that have been struggling with personal demons. It's what I am going to try and do anyway, though my track record on fulfilling New Years resolutions is not great. 

But things CAN change..and change for the better. I truly believe that all one REALLY needs is resolve, a dedication to get that thing done. Maybe the plan is not great, but it evolves, you fall and get up... but you keep moving forward with relentless determination. 

The beginning of a whole new decade seems like a fresh start to me. Lets use it to our advantage, be it personal, as Americans, or simply as human beings on this planet. 

Time to get moving again

OK, I just walked 2 miles. First time in a looooooooong time, and if felt rather good I have to say. October always seems to motivate me to get moving. Its November through the following September I have troubles with!

October always seems to get me exercising, and exercising, or at least moving around more, is always a good place to start getting healthy. 

Healthy is the key word, because that is my main goal now. Yes I need to lose weight, about 60 pounds to be exact, but that is just one part of improving my health.  Believe it or not, there are others as well. 

And even tiny steps will get you there right? Eventually?

OK, there is much to do this October, or should I say...ROCkTOBER !!! 

Much more later

The Pros and Cons of Counting vs Abstinence

Counting Calories

Pros:

1. I am familiar with it.
2. Writing down what you are eating in a journal is a proven method for losing weight.
3. I can be sure that I am not eating more calories than I need.
4. If I can stick with it, I know it will work.

Cons:

1. limits the freedom to eat what I want.
2. Can be a pain on special occasions.
3. When I stop counting, I binge or over-eat.
4. I have never been able to maintain it.

Abstinence

Pros:

1. Admits that I have a problem that goes beyond food and calories
2. Is a very simple alternative to counting calories.
3. Targets the main problem area I have.
4. Does not have to be turned "on" or "off', can be used on any occasion.

Cons:

1. I have never, ever, been able to do it.
2. Seems like it might be a very hard thing to do for a lifetime.
3. There is no guarantee that I won't create another "problem area" to compensate.
4. I don't know that I can trust myself with it.

The Dilemma

Essentially there is probably only one way lose fat, and that is to cut down on your caloric expenditure. Now within that simply formula there is a whole host of paths one could take, but the bottom line remains the same..burn more than you take in.

For me, knowing what I know about me, my experience with losing and gaining weight over the decades, there are only two ways to do this really.

1. Count calories. This I have done with success at times. Though if you measure success by the fact that you KEEP doing it year after year, then no, I would be a failure at it, like so many others. 

2. Addiction strategies. Admitting you have an addiction to over eating and making one simple rule to remove the problem area. An alcoholic would have a no alcohol rule, an addictive over-eater like me might remove a certain food for life.

But for me, removing one food is not the answer, my problem area is not a single food, it is a single time frame, after dinner to bedtime...the dreaded "4th meal" if you will. What makes me obese is just 500 extra calories a day, and I get that routinely by eating after dinner, nearly every night. 

My last post I said I was going to try to eliminate it, but it proved MUCH harder than I thought. I needed something, anything, and when I took a little something, it invariably turned into a BIG something.

It is what some psychologists call AVE, or Abstinence Violation Effect. In for a penny, in for a pound kind of thing. 

So for me the dilemma comes down to trying again what I have tried so many times before, and hope that I am a little wiser and better able to carry if off, or try something new that seems like a colossal struggle, but no less what a drunk might go through giving up booze...simple, but difficult.

The journey begins!

OK, I got things off to a good start, walked for an hour at the park, almost 3-1/2 miles, and in case you don't have a calculator that is .0035% of my 1,000 mile journey!

I also had oatmeal for breakfast and put mustard on my ham sandwich instead of mayo!

Lets see what tomorrow brings...

New Beginnings

Things are going remarkably well for me so far.  My "diet" does not really feel like a diet at all and I am rarely hungry, particularly at night, where I am at my weakest. I have not yet cemented my eating times as routine, right now I am eating when I am hungry, and when I can get the chance to make something to eat, trying to keep each meal at 400 calories or below. It has been easy, I think because of all the preparation and "practice" starts. Of course I won't know how it is really going pound-wise until the 1st of every month, when I weigh in.

My main emphasis has been on improving nutrition, eating whole foods, Super Foods and such, and keeping my cholesterol intake low. This was not really a big stretch for me as I have been experimenting with it for a long time now, as many of you know.  I have been eating salmon, whole wheat breads,  oatmeal,  nuts,  fruit, yogurt...among other  things.  Little by little I am trying to incorporate more and more of these food types into every meal. The book "SuperFoods" by Dr.  Pratt has been my nutrition bible of sorts, I reference it many times. I highly recommend picking up the paperback version. I have to admit, finding things to make with pumpkin is a bitch...but I will crack that gourd eventually!

The hardest part so far has been in finding the time to exercise the way I want to, aerobically. I have not been to the gym... yet. However I have made an effort to increase my activity while doing other things. For example, I took the baby to the park the other day and walked a mile and a half, jogging with the stroller part of the way. I am making the effort to walk the dog every night at a fast pace again. Eventually I will carve out an exercise time for the gym, but until I do, I am making the most of what I can do, and I am still on track with at least 15 minutes of exercise daily for this first month. I need to get my heart rate up though.

Support wise, things could not be better. The fact that the whole family, even my teen, wants to go to the gym on a regular basis is a great incentive. Mrs. FB even has a trainer to help her get started at the new gym!

Two new things of note have been playing a part in this new beginning, of which I will post more about in greater detail later.  I caught a 1 hour show about the book "You, On a Diet" and it really captured my attention and I learned a few new things, if you can believe it. Also keeping a journal at FitDay has helped me keep track of the calories I have been eating, and even more importantly, the nutrition behind it. I have that journal published to the net, and I will provide a link soon.

It has not been going perfectly, not every single item I have eaten has been good for me, and the exercise has been slow in coming together...but it is all coming together, and I have learned that trying to be perfect can be the enemy of good. So far, I am happy with the direction I am moving in. Hope your beginnings to the New Year have started off well too. If not, hang in there and muddle through it, it will happen!

 

FatBlogger Begins...again

OK, I am ready to get back on the bike, horse, whatever. I have given it much thought (as you all know by now) and I think I have a good plan outlook.  Here are a few of the highlights of the things I am going to give a try.  They all seem pretty simple and common sense. Many of you will say, "duh"! But for a chronic dieter, they are things that have to be re-learned. Even these simple ideas may be difficult to maintain, I can accept future falls, as long as I get back up.

• ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW

This has always been, for me anyway, an issue of self acceptance more than weight-loss. Denying my "self" has led to perfectionism, procrastination and obsessions about body. I think I have made a lot of improvement in this area since I started blogging, but I might need some help with this, a group, or some constant reminding. I don't want to obsess here, just realize I'm OK, fat or thin.

• NEVER DIET AGAIN! EVER!

Accept the fact that dieting keeps you out of balance, and balance is what needs to be achieved and re-learned. My thinking here is one of history, cause and effect. Every diet will work, from Atkins to Grapefruit, but for how long? I have lost weight on many a diet, I have gained it all back again, sometimes even more. This includes diet pills, supplements and other things advertised to help "lose weight".  In two decades of dieting, I have never maintained my healthy weight for long after the actual diet.

• LISTEN TO MY BODY

My body knows what I want, when I want it, and how much I need of it, I just have not been listening. To eat when I am hungry, choose what I want, stop when I am full, how cool would that be?

They say a humans stomach is only as big as their fist. Eating smaller meals more often, and eating them slower, will give my body time to register that fact and send the signal that I have had enough.

But what to eat? Instead of worrying about what not to, start thinking about what I can add to my diet that will increase my nutrition and my health.  Taking the time to eat better whole foods instead of easier processed foods will actually be tastier, fun, and better for me.

• KEEP A JOURNAL

The difference between fat and thin is often not much. In my case only 500 calories a day. A food journal is like an accounting. I know what my limits are, so maybe by writing down what I eat, it might slow me down enough to think before I do. Keeping a journal also serves a vital teaching function. I will learn the nutritional make up of certain foods, how I react to them physically and emotionally, how much I need to be full. I need this info to learn how to live within the means of my metabolism and to re-learn what dieting and binging have ruined.

I think it would also be helpful to keep track of my activities. I am lucky, I like to do many things that are considered "exercise". Walking, jogging, bike riding, even lifting weights for me can actually be fun. I enjoy competing with myself to get better too. Again, keeping a public record helps to keep me on track, be honest and to brag!

• UNDERSTAND THE PATH IS LONG

This one might be the most important. I have to remember that it took me a while to put the weight on, it might be a while before it comes off, like over a year. And then, it will take a while to learn how to keep it off, like another year. I can accept this. Looking at it for the long haul makes holiday events and other "special days" seem not so stressful and anxiety ridden. They are just days like any other, and little by little, if I stay on the path, I will get healthy again.

OK, that is what I have come up with so far. It all seems pretty simple right? I think the hardest part will be learning to remember that I am not on a diet anymore. I am going to stick with this for at least three months, and then see where I am at, and where I am going.

100 Days To Go!

I can deny it no longer, if I am serious about doing this half marathon, then I have to get serious about dropping some pounds. Knowing there is a scant 100 days to go is like an alarm going off in my head, time to exert a little self control and moderation, time to become less.

I know what you are thinking, "he is going on a diet". Well, yes and no. I know that a diet will actually have no effect on me, or worse, cause me to gain weight, so I am not going to do that per se ( more word games). No, really, no diet, but I have to shed some fat.

Last week I was depressed that it has been 4 months and I have gained weight. It just seemed pointless to be doing all that exercise everyday and still be the same or fatter than when I started.  After my 6 mile walk / run my knees and feet were sore for days, I became worried that I would not be able to even walk the 1/2 marathon. Despite the exercise I have still been eating indiscriminately, without regard for my health or cholesterol level of 250. I guess in my mind, knowing that someday I was going to have to go on a diet made me eat more and more every day to "make up" for what I was going to give up.

Every pound of weight puts another 4 pounds of pressure on my joints, and the longer I run the more that extra 200 pounds of pressure bounces on my cartilage. I simply have to do something about it. It will be safe, it will be moderate, it will be effective, I will not exclude any foods but I have to put a limit on them. So, 100 days to go, time to get serious. If  I can stay on track for two weeks I will clue you into what I am doing and get your feedback, but I need a little lead time to make sure I am not going to be blowing more smoke.

I'm psyched, I'm pumped, I'm ready and all that jazz. I am proud that I went 6 miles, but if I want to go 13, I need to make a few adjustments to my habits..NOW!

Patriots Day

Today is the day. I am beginning my journey to run the Boston Marathon.

What the hell!? you say

A few posts ago, I think I mentioned that I had left college in disgrace, all of my friends hating me, this is what happened -

I had decided to lose weight that year, and wanted to before my 21st birthday ( I think I mentioned that also). In the process of doing this I decided to enter a relay race that my school held every year,  you were allowed to form your own co-ed team. I talked 4 of my friends into doing it, as well as a couple of others that I secretly had crushes on. They agreed. I trained for it while I lost the weight. After 7 weeks, on my 21st birthday, I had lost 30 pounds. Too much too soon I think. I went nuts celebrating my new found freedom, eating and drinking everything that I had sacrificed during those weeks.

I found it hard to get back on track, and kept spiraling out of control. I went back to skipping classes, partying too much. The night before the race I went out drinking with a few people. I was depressed because I was "fat" again, and did not think that I could run the race. Eventually that night I ran into another neighbor. We started spying on someone that I had been dating during the previous few months. I saw them making out through the window with someone else. Of course, I only went further down into the tank, but the reality is I really didn't like this person that much. We started harassing this person, knocking on the door, calling on the phone. We eventually talked them into letting us borrow their car so we could go someplace else. Me and this neighbor took the car and drove it to my parents house, 3 hours away. I woke up, in my old bedroom, well after the race had started.

When I got back I found my friends preparing for some kind of cook-out at the apartment. They were all mad that I had talked them into the race and then didn't even show up. Because I was not there, they did not have enough team members to qualify and could not run the race. Some of them had even invited their parents down to watch. I lied and told them I had been in an accident with the car, I faked an injury. I moved out.  I stayed with some friends at my old dorm, having them sneak peanut butter sandwiches out of the cafeteria. My supposed best friend from high school, and my old dorm roommate, still lived in that dorm, but barely talked to me. I finished up my classes, dropped a few that were remaining and went home. I had to go back to the apartment to get my things, I remember seeing the Boston Marathon on TV. I remember thinking it was funny that I was going to be moving there in a month or so.  In the next few days that followed, my "friends" called my mother, told her the whole sordid story, even told her to check my grades when they came in the mail. I guess they were pissed. My parents didn't seem to care too much about it. We moved, I never talked to them again.

Here it is, many years later, and I still am suffering from the same thing, the same thoughts, the same feelings. So, I thought, enough is enough. There has to be a beginning to this end. I am always looking for just the right day. Today will do just fine, it just seemed appropriate and I am ready.

Why set a goal so high? After all the work I had done on my self the past week, it just did not feel right to set a goal to lose weight yet again. I needed something larger, harder, to strive for, yet something that would include losing extra fat and regaining my health.  I needed a goal that had meaning to my past, my history, my failures, where I am today. I needed motivation, the fact that I now live in Houston but want to move back to Boston can provide that. When I heard over the weekend that the race was Monday, it all just seemed to fall together.

Is it a realistic goal? I don't know. I ran a 10K once, many, many years ago. My time was not that good but under 8 minutes a mile. To qualify for the Boston Marathon I will have to run a mile in 8 minutes or less, 26.2 times! I don't know, maybe it is not all that practical, but I know it is not impossible. I really enjoy being outside running, The few times I have been in shape enough to do it, why can't I have that enjoyment back? Is it wrong to strive for something out of my reach?

Besides, this is a longer project then just losing weight, but obviously will have to include that as the first step. In order to achieve this goal, I will have to maintain the weight-loss, something I have never been able to do and the true success of weight-loss anyway. I am shooting for running the marathon in three years or less.

The Boston Marathon is run on Patriots Day every year, the holiday New Englanders celebrate on the third Monday of April in honor of the first battle between the British and Colonials at Concord.

The gun has sounded in Hopkinton and the men's race is underway at the 109th Boston Marathon.