Today is the day. I am beginning my journey to run the Boston Marathon.
What the hell!? you say
A few posts ago, I think I mentioned that I had left college in disgrace, all of my friends hating me, this is what happened -
I had decided to lose weight that year, and wanted to before my 21st birthday ( I think I mentioned that also). In the process of doing this I decided to enter a relay race that my school held every year, you were allowed to form your own co-ed team. I talked 4 of my friends into doing it, as well as a couple of others that I secretly had crushes on. They agreed. I trained for it while I lost the weight. After 7 weeks, on my 21st birthday, I had lost 30 pounds. Too much too soon I think. I went nuts celebrating my new found freedom, eating and drinking everything that I had sacrificed during those weeks.
I found it hard to get back on track, and kept spiraling out of control. I went back to skipping classes, partying too much. The night before the race I went out drinking with a few people. I was depressed because I was "fat" again, and did not think that I could run the race. Eventually that night I ran into another neighbor. We started spying on someone that I had been dating during the previous few months. I saw them making out through the window with someone else. Of course, I only went further down into the tank, but the reality is I really didn't like this person that much. We started harassing this person, knocking on the door, calling on the phone. We eventually talked them into letting us borrow their car so we could go someplace else. Me and this neighbor took the car and drove it to my parents house, 3 hours away. I woke up, in my old bedroom, well after the race had started.
When I got back I found my friends preparing for some kind of cook-out at the apartment. They were all mad that I had talked them into the race and then didn't even show up. Because I was not there, they did not have enough team members to qualify and could not run the race. Some of them had even invited their parents down to watch. I lied and told them I had been in an accident with the car, I faked an injury. I moved out. I stayed with some friends at my old dorm, having them sneak peanut butter sandwiches out of the cafeteria. My supposed best friend from high school, and my old dorm roommate, still lived in that dorm, but barely talked to me. I finished up my classes, dropped a few that were remaining and went home. I had to go back to the apartment to get my things, I remember seeing the Boston Marathon on TV. I remember thinking it was funny that I was going to be moving there in a month or so. In the next few days that followed, my "friends" called my mother, told her the whole sordid story, even told her to check my grades when they came in the mail. I guess they were pissed. My parents didn't seem to care too much about it. We moved, I never talked to them again.
Here it is, many years later, and I still am suffering from the same thing, the same thoughts, the same feelings. So, I thought, enough is enough. There has to be a beginning to this end. I am always looking for just the right day. Today will do just fine, it just seemed appropriate and I am ready.
Why set a goal so high? After all the work I had done on my self the past week, it just did not feel right to set a goal to lose weight yet again. I needed something larger, harder, to strive for, yet something that would include losing extra fat and regaining my health. I needed a goal that had meaning to my past, my history, my failures, where I am today. I needed motivation, the fact that I now live in Houston but want to move back to Boston can provide that. When I heard over the weekend that the race was Monday, it all just seemed to fall together.
Is it a realistic goal? I don't know. I ran a 10K once, many, many years ago. My time was not that good but under 8 minutes a mile. To qualify for the Boston Marathon I will have to run a mile in 8 minutes or less, 26.2 times! I don't know, maybe it is not all that practical, but I know it is not impossible. I really enjoy being outside running, The few times I have been in shape enough to do it, why can't I have that enjoyment back? Is it wrong to strive for something out of my reach?
Besides, this is a longer project then just losing weight, but obviously will have to include that as the first step. In order to achieve this goal, I will have to maintain the weight-loss, something I have never been able to do and the true success of weight-loss anyway. I am shooting for running the marathon in three years or less.
The Boston Marathon is run on Patriots Day every year, the holiday New Englanders celebrate on the third Monday of April in honor of the first battle between the British and Colonials at Concord.
The gun has sounded in Hopkinton and the men's race is underway at the 109th Boston Marathon.
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