FatBlogger

How people change

Despite "plasticity", ruts in our brain, genetic disposition and the rest...there are those who break bad habits and change for the better. They do it with out surgery, without life altering trauma, without pills, therapy or 12 step programs. They do it with everyday hard work and a dogged persistence to achieve their goal. They are driven to succeed, and they are willing to sacrifice to get there. How? Why? What makes them so different from the rest of us?

Well, there just so happens to be a "system" and most of them go through it without even knowing it.  The 6 stages of change, discovered by James Prochaska, John Norcross,  and Carlo DiClemente;

1. Precontemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance
    (Possible Relapse)
6. Termination / Transcendence

The book is fascinating, as I have discussed before, mostly because it illuminates the stages one encounters in change, much like the Kubler-Ross stages of grief, they are just a part of the human condition. For such a wonderful discovery, and impeccable research by these psychologists, not much has been written or expanded about it since. Consider the break through of discovering a verifiable way of change, and yet, these ten plus years later, nothing. Why? They themselves say in the book, the media wanted some pithy summation about the "system" that they could promote in a sentence, and they refused, it just isn't simple. While the book is thorough, It really is too bad that there was no follow up by other psychologists as I did not found the book helpful in moving from stage to stage.  Right now, and for the past decade, I have been stuck on stage 3, "preparation". A few times I have been to stage 4, never to stage 5 in my entire life. 

The point is, everyone goes through these stages when changing, even if they don't know it. You can't jump from one stage to another effectively either, it just isn't how the human psyche works. Knowing this won't make you lose weight, but knowing it might make it more possible. For example, instead of wasting time on more diet planning and book reading, I realize that I am just avoiding stage 4, action, and that these things I am doing, and maybe you, are just to avoid the anxiety of change.  I am taking it to the precipice, but I don't have the commitment, or desire, to jump yet.

If you are intrigued by these stages and would like to know where you are, I would recommend getting the book, here is a link if you want to check it out on Amazon.com. You can also check out this site, addictioninfo.org for a little more in depth analysis of the stages, or go to this Doctor's web-site,  habitdoc.com, who uses the stages to help people beat addictions.

Why is it so #$%&ing hard to lose weight?

I know I am not alone, and neither are you if you have asked this same question. America is getting fatter and fatter, ironically it seems, at the same rate the fat fighting "industry" grows. It would seem implausible that as our knowledge, scientific advancement, access to healthier foods and public awareness increases, that our waistline would too. Now, I don't blame any of those things as the reason I am still fat, I merely point out...there must be a critical step missing.

Some would say that step is an actual step, as in action. I would tend to agree, but why can't so many of us take it? We know what's at stake to our own personal bodies, yet there seems to be such a wall of inertia to break through, that more often than not, we give up without really trying.

A week or so ago, by chance, I happened upon a show called "The Brain Fitness Program" on PBS. For the most part it was pretty dry and boring, but there was one very interesting thing that caught my attention..."plasticity". This is a term neurologists are giving to the ruts we literally create on our brains by taking the same action, over and over again. This rut, or plasticity, gets so used to these actions, that as soon as they begin they fire neurons to complete the action. For example, if a person reaches out to a boiling pot, the neurons would fire off pain signals and we recoil our hand immediately. The same is true for bad habits as well, if we think Twinkie, we eat Twinkie. This is why it is so hard to maintain a weight-loss diet, we are literally stuck in a rut, and it is all in our heads.

It all makes perfect sense when you really think about it. Eating certain things, at certain times, gives most of us pleasure, instant pleasure at that. If I am bored, I walk to the pantry. If I feel anxious, I walk to the fridge.  If I am happy, I want to celebrate with food. If I am lonely, I seek solace in the loving embrace of Ben and Jerry. And I do all these things in auto-mode, a reflex of emotion, thought and over the years, practice and pleasure. Why would a subconscious give that kind of instant gratification up with out a fight? If it did, it wouldn't be doing it's job of nurturing your inner self. Of course, all this inner self nurturing comes with a price, outer self deterioration, and ultimately, self loathing.

Impossible to fix? No. But very, very, very hard.  Anyway, the point is, the repeated failures you experience, the wall you hit when the sun goes down, the guilt, the hopelessness you feel...there normal, and you are not alone.

One last look back...

More like a glance really. As the days to the new year grow smaller, my anticipation, anxiety and yes..EXCITEMENT grow larger! I am ready. I feel like 2007 is MY year, I feel like it is time that I took control of my life, and this area is a good start.

Where have I been on this journey? I would like to think that I made some progress, but in reality it was minimal at best. Most of the work on the "inside" of my problem I did in 2005. Last year seemed more like a waiting period, a purgatory, a place where my commitment to improving my health was..well...non-existent. I simply was not ready.

Old habits die hard for sure, bad routines may even take longer. A  well worn dysfunction, learned and practiced in order to survive adolescence, can take a life time to overcome. Lets hope in my case it only took two decades.

I have no illusions, 2007 will be a struggle if I have the guts to move forward, a mountain to overcome with a lifetime of peaks and valleys. But I have this post to guide me; The Benefits of Change and I hope it will remind me of why I am doing what I am doing.

Another post I wrote that I would like to take with me into 2007 is The N.W.C.R., an ongoing study of people who have successfully lost weight, and kept it off for five years. Someday I hope to be a part of this study.

A few other posts I wrote to re-read should I feel the need to waste time with more reflecting (deflecting).

Nemesis

I hate me

Inertia

the name of the beast

benediction to addiction

God I hate being fat

As the saying goes, I have been there, done that, these posts will help to remind of that fact. I also have all the wonderful posts from all of you out there to keep me going, both struggling like me, and those who have been more successful. I am looking forward now to a happy and healthy 2007!

The Benefits of Change

Here is a list of the benefits, and the problems, with my plan of action. It is clearly a three to one ratio, the good FAR outweighing the bad, and the bad dealing mostly with the risks of failure. This is probably a list that I am going to add to from time to time. If you are contemplating a change in a habit, or your life, then make your own list of pros and cons, it can help to remind us when the going gets tough, why we are doing it...why it is important. When January 1 rolls around, I am going to want to print this and tape it to the fridge or pantry door!

The Minimum Plan is "good" because...

•    I will lose weight slowly, 4-5 pounds a month, and it will be mostly fat.
•    It is not really a “diet”, I am really re-learning how to eat normally.
•    No food item is excluded.
•    Whole, healthy foods like SuperFoods, and their benefits, are promoted.
•    It incorporates gradually increasing exercise.
•    It allows me to “fall off the wagon” 3 days a month.
•    I have a better chance of sticking to this plan, and sticking with it.
•    I designed it, it’s by me and for me.
•    It will lower my cholesterol level.
•    It will reduce my chances for heart disease.
•    It will reduce my chances for cancer.
•    I will have more energy for the children.
•    I will have more energy for work.
•    I will have more energy, and motivation, in my love life.
•    Think of all the clothes you can un-box!
•    I will look much better in those clothes.
•    I will be able to run again.
•    I will feel better about myself from day one.
•    I will be a much better example for healthy living to my children and the kids at school.
•    I will be a much better example of achieving a goal to my children and the kids at school.
•    My steady weight-loss might encourage “L” to get healthy.
•    My steady weight-loss might encourage “M” to get healthy.
•    I will save A LOT of time obsessing about “how” and “when” to lose weight.
•    I will remove an obstacle to other areas and goals in my life.
•    I could live ten years longer and enjoy any grand kids that much more.
•    I will reduce life insurance costs by 2/3!
•    I will feel like I have a sense of control over my own life again.
•    I will feel a sense of accomplishment.
•    In one years time, I can reverse the effects, and pain, of the last 25.   

The Minimum Plan plan is "bad" because...

•    In the beginning it will feel like a diet, and I will be hungry.
•    It will be very hard at night and weekends.
•    In the beginning I will have to count and measure everything I eat.
•    I could fail and spin into another depression.
•    I could fail and get fatter.
•    I could fail and become even more obsessive about losing weight.
•    I could fail and avoid other areas and goals in my life again.
•    If I am successful, it might anger me towards “L”.
•    I could hurt myself while exercising.
•    I could binge on my “days off”.
•    My “days off” could spread to a week, month, year.

notes on change and being prepared

1. Make a list of the benefits of change, and keep it always in front of you. (p.149)

2. Get your exercise time and schedule worked out before New Years.

3. Practice "The Minimum Plan" before beginning it. More on this later.

4. Get as many Super Foods as possible into the plan. Try them all before you begin.

5. Changing your behavior must be your highest priority, or it won't work. (p.151)

6. There are five commitment techniques: (p.155)

1. Take small steps
2. Set a date
3. Go public
4. Prepare for a major "operation"
5. Create your own plan of action

7. Commitment is an act of faith in yourself. (p. 152)

These are the things I would like to work on and review in the days remaining until the New Year and the New Me.  There are seven, and since there are seven weeks until the BIG DAY, I will work on one each week! See how neatly it all works out? Of course the page numbers refer to where that is in the book I have been talking so much about, Changing for Good, and it assumes that I have already gone through and completed the two prior stages, pre-contemplation, contemplation...is there anyone here that believes I need MORE contemplation? LOL! I didn't think so! If you think you need a little more understanding as to why you do the things you do, grab the book, it can help!

Preparation

1 : the action or process of making something ready for use or service or of getting ready for some occasion, test, or duty
2 : a state of being prepared : READINESS
3 : a preparatory act or measure
4 : something that is prepared; specifically : a medicinal substance made ready for use   <a preparation for colds>

That is what I want to do, that is what I am trying to do, get prepared, BE prepared, for New Years Day. It is my aim, my quest before the quest.

Preparation is the third step of 5 in the process of the stages of change, as illuminated in the book Changing for Good, something I highly recommend be on your reading list this season. Preparation is the last step taken before "action", that all important step necessary to actually do something about your negative habit.

I often get stuck in "preparation", making plan after plan. As I have learned from the book, this is simply trying to avoid taking action, constantly preparing tricks you into thinking that you are taking action, or at least doing something about it. You would think that after 20+ years, I would not need any more prep time! But as it turns out, I do, it just has to be a bit more focused on the task at hand.

To quote from the authors of the book; "...much of the work of preparation looks like a rehearsal for action."

This is actually hard work, and it can be boring. Many of us just want to get it over with, this is called premature action. As soon as we find a new pill, or gym, or machine, we jump in and try to get it done. Most of the time we fizzle out after a week or two. We are simply not willing to do the work necessary... to actually do the work. We do not want to look at the big picture, the long haul, the life changes. We are not interested in small gains, and the irony is...we gain more. I am guilty of this very thing.

How many of us set the date, be it any given Monday, or first of the Month, or birthday or, yes, New Years, and jump into the battle of weight loss with both feet. Always with the best of intentions..always. And how many of us also don't make it past 4 weeks, or 6 months, or two years. 95% of us.

Weight loss is a challenge for sure, but it needs to be looked at as a self improvement project with long term goals. If you wanted to build a house that was going to last for generations, you would not just go buy an arm load of 2 x 4's, a hammer and some nails and just start building would you? You would need some land, a blueprint, adequate materials, a good foundation, the ability to make changes, and above all...some help.

There are just 50 days until the New Year, a year in which I plan on making steady, positive progress towards improving my health. There is still time enough to get prepared!