In a weird coincidence, on January 1st, 2008, Fatblogger will be 1,000 days old.
That seems like a long time, nearly three years. That should have been a long enough time to lose the weight, get in shape, get healthy...but it wasn't...hasn't been. Does that make this blog, or me, a failure? I suppose, if I think of this blog as merely a journal of that particular journey.
Though, on that evening on April 6th, 2005, I never stated that this would be a blog about me losing weight, but rather me working through the issues surrounding such a thing.
I have seen a lot of blogs about losing weight, "Look at me!, This is my before picture and this is my after picture!" "Dear Diary, today I ate only 150 calories! Yippee!" They all suck, and they all fade into the blog abyss of the quarterly post. If all it took to lose weight was to count calories, who the hell would choose to be fat? Who in their right mind would choose a lifetime of self-hatred, trapped in a blubbery prison cell of their own making? Who would choose daily public humiliation as a walking, breathing example of weakness in our society? Certainly not the two thirds of us Americans who are more than they should be.
I have to admit, I have toyed with the idea of folding this blog up and calling it a day. I hardly get here, or anywhere in blog world anymore, since the baby...though I think it has more to do with my will than an infant. I reached a point where the only thing left to do was to do it, and I couldn't. All perfectly normal actions in our growing overweight society.
Last year at this time I was convinced that this was the time. But I was trying to convince myself, create some fool proof start point that could not fail...and always does. New Years Eve...how many of those I wasted on resolutions for a thinner more perfect me. I think maybe I should have made a resolution a long time ago that said I was giving up such resolutions, and instead adopting one of continual and mutual self acceptance, fat or thin, of who I am...today. Now. This minute.
It may be corny, stupid, sappy or a bit of self-help new-age bullshit, but this much I do know after 1,000 days at FatBlogger....if you can't at least begin with a corner stone of self-acceptance, nothing you build will last, be it weight-loss...or anything else.
So work on this with me; There is nothing better than this moment...right now...make the most of it. Deny yourself that hatred and self condemnation that comes all too easy, and opt for the harder, less worn path of love and beauty that is your right...right now. Such a belief in yourself and others can't help but radiate outward and inward, eventually changing all things for the better. That thought IS healthy, and that is a good place to begin in 2008.