Good morning and happy Earth Day fellow bloggers and blog readers. I put this salutation in here just to let you know I am not completely self absorbed in my own little world of problems. Now, on to me.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, this week I am keeping track of what I eat and trying to estimate the cost, er calories, as best I can, experimenting with different foods, eating at different times etc. I have been jotting down notes on how I feel and what I was thinking and feeling at the time as well. I think this is necessary if I am going to build some kind of plan that will work and last.
So far what I have noticed about myself is that I do great during the day, but turn into some kind of LARD SUCKING VAMPIRE at night. During the day I can be hungry and ignore it, even famished until I get to eat something, it doesn't really bother me, but come the evening, like after 9 or 10 pm, it all just turns to shit. It seems my will power just dissolves and I get these night hungers that must be quenched! For example, last night my family and I went out to Chili's. I only ate half the meal and brought the rest home (should probably not have done either), but later that night at about 10 when I sat down to watch a little Adult Swim, I just had to eat the other half of that meal, and I was not even that hungry. The night before that I ate 3 small bags of Doritos and Ramen Noodles, I have enough salt in me now to last a month. It has been going on like this, now that I think about it, a very long time. I roughly estimate that I eat at night about half of my total calorie consumption.
I don't know what the difference is to me psychologically, why is it okay and perfectly fine for me to experience hunger pains during the day and make a healthy choice or shrug it off completely, and have no willpower to do the same in the evening. It's like all the air is out of the balloon, I just can't say no. Somehow it relieves the boredom? Or I look at it as entertainment? Some kind of instant gratification? Perhaps I look at the night as I did as a child; this is the end- make the most of it, not really ready to relinquish my hold on the day. I just want to shout, "GROW UP STUPID! There is going to be another day, yet another opportunity to stuff your fat face! If you keep eating like this at night, you may run out of those opportunities rather quickly you dumb ass!"
But that is not being very constructive. I suppose that is the point of this whole exercise of writing it down, you find out the little things that often go unnoticed (or well hidden) that can add up to allot. Finding something else to do during this time, other than watching TV might be helpful. I can go to bed, I can do my blogging then, I can play the kids Xbox, anything that keeps my fingers occupied and out of my mouth.
Good ideas but I don't know if it is possible or practical. The night hungers feed a powerful beast.